Shipwrecked! After a messy divorce, a middle aged man decides he needs to take some time for himself, and decides to take a cruise in the South Pacific to let off some steam and relax. He's enjoying the trip, relaxing and mostly keeping to himself, when suddenly the clouds darken and a huge storm springs up. The ship begins to pitch and roll. People are panicking. The captain announces that the ship is going to sink. Just as the man slips on his life jacket and begins to head for the lifeboats a huge wave washes over the ship and spills him into the sea. The storm carries him swiftly away from the ship. Soon all he can see in the darkness are the flames as the ship slowly sinks into the abyss. The storm passes and the sea begins to calm. After a few hours of floating in the vast, black emptiness, the man succumbs to exhaustion and falls into a fitful sleep. He wakes up the next morning and finds that he has washed up on a small island. Exploring, he comes across a set of human foot prints in the sand. He follows them, and a few hours later he rounds a corner and finds himself face to face with Natalie Portman! At first he is quite starstruck, but over the next several days he and Natalie soon discover that they are the only inhabitants of the island. As days turn into weeks and weeks into months, it becomes apparent that no one is coming to rescue them. He and the lovely Miss Portman spend months building signal fires, creating shelters and rain cathers, and fishing for food. Over time, familiarity breeds friendship, and eventually they fall in love. One night, after a nice meal of roasted crab and bananas, he looks deeply into Natalie's eyes. ""Darling,"" he says, ""we have grown very close over the long time we've been stuck on this island together."" ""I have grown to love you, but I need you to do something for me. You might find it a little strange."" A little apprehensive, Natalie asks what he would like her to do. ""I want you to take some ashes from the camp fire and paint a mustache on your upper lip. And then I want you to dress in my clothes, so you look like a man."" Natalie finds this request a little strange, but she has grown to love our hero. Without a word, she does what she asks. Finally, she turns to him and stands, expectantly. ""That's perfect,"" he says. ""You look perfect."" And he walks away, down the beach and disappears into the jungle. Confused, Natalie watches him walk off in the distance. She sits down and begins wondering if perhaps she had displeased him in some way. After about 30 minutes, she feels a tap on her shoulder. The man had backtracked around behind her, and quietly crept up unnoticed. ""Hey buddy,"" he says with a smug grin on his face. ""I'M DOING NATALIE PORTMAN!!""