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South Carolina Jokes

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Clem was small game hunting in the woods right around the border area of North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia. He had just shot a possum and was putting it in his game bag when the game warden approached. The game warden says, ""Whatcha got there son?"" Clem says, ""Just doin' a little hunting. I got me a couple squirrels, a rabbit and this here possum."" The game warden grabs the possum, sticks his finger up it's ass, sniffs it the says, ""This here possum is from is from Georgia, you got…

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There are some things that are certain in life. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. ""Can I help you?"" she asked. ""I want to see Natalie,"" the man replied. ""Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,"" said the madam. ""No, I must see Natalie"" was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesit…

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Seriously Funny 7/11/'16 New flicks about to come out, Ghostbusters, Star Trek, & Jason Bourne. I'm sorry, Old flicks being redone AGAIN coming out soon! The Sulu character on the next Star Trek will be gay. According to George Takei he won't exactly be going boldly where NO man has gone before. Erik Estrada's taken a job as a reserve cop in Southeastern Idaho. You laugh, but this could lead to a cameo in Paul Blart Mall Cop 3! One mega-church in South Carolina has 30,000 parishioners! I'd h…

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The monument over which the Confederate Flag in South Carolina flies reads: ""This monument perpetuates the memory, of those who true to the instincts of their birth, faithful to the teachings of their fathers, constant in their love for the state, died in the performance of their duty: who have glorified a fallen cause by the simple manhood of their lives, the patient endurance of suffering, and the heroism of death, and who, in the dark hours of imprisonment, in the hopelessness of the hospita…

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A good ole boy was driving his pickup truck in South Carolina. Two black men were walking along the side of the road when the truck suddenly veered and hit both of them, throwing one through the windshield and the other catapulting into a nearby field. Along came a sheriff who got out of his car and walked toward the scene shaking his head. ""We got us some serious crimes here! There gonna be some serious charges!"" said the sheriff. The good ole boy was very nervous. The sheriff continued, ""Ye…

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College Football Jokes - Enjoy! Don't know where they came from, but they are worth a chuckle or two. > Ohio State's > Urban Meyer on one of his players: ""He doesn't know > the meaning of the word > fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know > the meaning of a lot of > words."" > ___________________________________________ > > Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? > > So they can dress > that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and …

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Vacation It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota, who decided to go to Miami Beach for a few days to thaw out during one particularly cold winter. The airlines have crazy frequent flyer rules, and the wife ended up on a flight the day after her husband. The husband made it down to Florida and arrived at his hotel. Upon getting to his room, he decided to open his laptop and send his wife back in Minneapolis an email. Unfortunately, he didn't notice he had misspelled his wife's …

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The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. ""May I help you?"" she asked. ""I want to see Valerie,"" the man replied. ""Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,"" said the madam. ""No, I must see Valerie,"" was the man's reply. Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dolla…

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The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head South Carolina looking all fresh and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said ""Well hi Jimmy how ya been lover ? Long time no see."" A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside the piqued bride demanded: ""And just who was THAT woman ?!?!?"" The groom wiped his brow and said ""Just relax honey. Please ! I'm going to h…

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Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim... And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore. "Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you." "Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says. "Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!" She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National …

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A Small Collection of US State Jokes **Georgia** The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings." **Louisiana** A senior citizen in Louisiana was…

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College Football Jokes - Enjoy! Don't know where they came from, but they are worth a chuckle or two. > Ohio State's > Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know > the meaning of the word > fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know > the meaning of a lot of > words." > ___________________________________________ > > Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? > > So they can dress > that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and > pick up trash on > Monday…

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