[on a business trip to South Carolina] Nice to meet you. I'm from Philadelphia. "Welcome to the United States."

Clem was small game hunting in the woods right around the border area of North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia. He had just shot a possum and was putting it in his game bag when the game warden approached. The game warden says, ""Whatcha got there son?"" Clem says, ""Just doin' a little hunting. I got me a couple squirrels, a rabbit and this here possum."" The game warden grabs the possum, sticks his finger up it's ass, sniffs it the says, ""This here possum is from is from Georgia, you got…

Donald Trump's Joke Donald Trump is speaking at a campaign event in South Carolina. He asks if the crowd wants to hear a joke? The southern crowd goes ""USA! USA! USA!"" What do you call 10 illegal immigrants on the moon? A problem. What do you call 100 illegals on the moon? A problem. What do you call 1000 illegals on the moon? Still a problem. What do you call all of the illegal immigrants on the moon? Problem solved.

There are some things that are certain in life. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. ""Can I help you?"" she asked. ""I want to see Natalie,"" the man replied. ""Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,"" said the madam. ""No, I must see Natalie"" was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesit…