Tennessee Jokes

hey girl are u from tennessee cause u have a tennessee accent and i have ur birth certificate here and it says ur from tennessee

We don't have wifi in Tennessee. I just pray my tweets into my phone and let Him (#Christ) do the rest.

So I met a girl named Tennessee I said to her, ""You're a ten, I see!"" And that's how I blew it with the hottest girl in the world.

The 100 MPH Goat *(I live in Tennessee. No offense to rednecks everywhere else...)* Two Tennessee rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it. The first hunter says, ""Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."" The second hunter says, ""I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."" The first hunter says, ""The…

The Hillbilly Vasectomy After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, but they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in …

sad, but true and funny! Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. ""Well,"" he says, ""I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."" The Tennessee contract…

Jeopardy Contestant: Saturday night for $400 Alex: This when the song Tennessee Whiskey is playing in the background Contestant: What is Jacking Daniels?

Viva la A Frenchman, a Mexican, and a Texan are sitting on a bridge drinking their drinks of choice. Suddenly the Frenchman throws his bottle of wine into the air and shoots it yelling, ""viva la France!"" The Mexican follows his example and throws his bottle of Tequila up and shoots it yelling, ""viva la Mexico"" the Texan looks at the other two then looks at his bottle on Tennessee whiskey and sets is down on the bridge. The Texan then grabs the Mexican and throws him of the bridge and shoots …

Anyone wanna road trip to Tennessee? I hear Gatlinburg is pretty lit

About Three Contractors Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. ""Well,"" he says, ""I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."" The Tennessee contracto…

How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common? They all died in Tennessee

An incredible dog A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house: ""Talking Dog For Sale."" He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. ""You talk?"" he asks. ""Yep,"" the Lab replies. ""So, what's your story?"" The Lab looks up and says, ""Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and…

George Bush There's an old saying in Tennessee...I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says, fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...you can't get fooled again. **I don't care! It's too funny to not repost.**

FAA study of black boxes found in domestic US, fatal, small airplane crashes shows 98% say ""may day"" remaining 2% are pilots from Tennessee who say, ""hey good buddy, hold my beer and watch this""

What's a Tennessee tornado and a Texas divorce have in common? Someone's gonna lose a trailer.

Stimulant 2. Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. ""Well,"" he says, ""I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."" The Tennessee contractor also does…

Two Flordia football players have been suspended for Saturday's game vs. Tennessee for refusing to take a urine test... I guess you might say urine or your out.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.....> The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. ""Well,"" he says, ""I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."" The Tennessee contractor also does some…

Hey girl are you from Tennessee? Because I was wondering if you'd still be interested in me if I wasn't your cousin

College Football Jokes - Enjoy! Don't know where they came from, but they are worth a chuckle or two. > Ohio State's > Urban Meyer on one of his players: ""He doesn't know > the meaning of the word > fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know > the meaning of a lot of > words."" > ___________________________________________ > > Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? > > So they can dress > that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and …

Topical Jokes for 6/23 In Tennessee, a park ranger was fired for dancing on the job. After losing his job, the man went back to the park to dance, because it's a park and literally anyone can go there. Here in Los Angeles, the city accidentally posted a street sign for ""1 Minute Parking."" Once the city realized their mistake, they took the sign down, and replaced it with ""0 Minute Parking."" Carl's Jr is testing a new sandwich called ""Mashers"", which is a hamburger topped with mashed potato…

What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkensaw.

Studies show that Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee have an obesity rate of over 30%. Maybe they'll change their name from the Bible Belt to the Loosened Belt.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only Tennessee.