Alex Jokes

Alex: A ship that has sunk What is my relationship? Alex: No sorry tha- [glares at wife] I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

Mammals for $500 Alex "Slow moving mammals that spend most of their time sleeping & eating" What are sloths? "Wrong, What are coworkers"

"Alex is visiting later tonight." Alex from work or Alex the astronaut with amazing hearing? [From the moon] It's not me, Thelma. Hi Bob.

Jeopardy] Alex: This floats your boat. Me [buzzing in]: What is buoyancy? Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever.

Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy

I'll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex. Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you What is a picnic? Correct!

I'll take "That's Not A Category" for $200, Alex. "That's not a category." Yes, that's right. "That's not a category." I chose that, yes.

[on quiz show] "and if you won some money today keith, what would you do with it?" *leans way too close into the microphone* spend it alex

I'll take Manly Men for $500, Alex. "Answer. These booklets of pages are a pointless waste of time." What are instructions? "Correct."

Big People Words [Big People Words](http://www.1976ad.com/2011/09/16/big-people-words/) A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them. She asked John what he had done over the weekend? 'I went to visit my Nana.' 'No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!' She then asked Mitchell what he had…

One Sunday morning, the pastor... ...noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up: stood beside the little boy: and said quietly, ""Good morning, Alex."" ""Good morning. Pastor,"" he replied, still focused on the plaque. ""Pastor, what is this?"" The pastor replied, ""Well, son, it's a memo…

Jeopardy Contestant: Saturday night for $400 Alex: This when the song Tennessee Whiskey is playing in the background Contestant: What is Jacking Daniels?

A boy learned about abortion is school one day... When the boy got home he found his parents on the couch. ""Mom, Dad, what do you think about abortion?"" He asked. ""I don't know,"" replied his dad, ""ask your sister."" ""I don't have a sis-"" (Thanks to my friend, Alex, for telling me that joke.)

8-year old Alex had a crush on his teacher, so he stayed behind in recess. The teacher asked Alex if something was wrong, since he wasn't out with the others. ""It's because I'm in love with you, Alex told her. ""Well,"" the teacher replied - ""What If I don't like small children?"". ""Then...we'll just have to be careful, I guess"".

I'll take ""Much ado"" for $1000, Alex. Answer: ""John Wayne...Jeff Bridges... Donald Trump."" ""Who are The Duke, The Dude, and The Douche.""

A woman had five sons. A woman had five sons: Alex, Bill, Chad, Doug, and Eric. One day, the woman gets a phone call from the hospital. The doctor says, ""I'm so sorry to tell you this, but your son was in a car accident and broke his leg."" ""Oh no!"" She responds, ""Which one?"" The doctor answers, ""The left leg.""

league of legends joke I think I'm better than faker lolll - alex

Jhons brother had died recently..... Jhon and Alex, Alex had his girlfriend dump him for his brother right in front of him, depressed, he killed himself. Jhon was happy with his life but he hated waiting, he took his girlfriend to a dance and she told him to get punch, he argued that the line would be big, but there was no punchline. I'll see myself out.

Law Interpretation Alex failed in the final Law Exam & decided to make a deal with the Professor. Alex: Sir, Can I ask you one question? Professor: Yes. Alex: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you cant, you will have to give me an ""A"" grading. Professor agreed. Alex asked: What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical? Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give The student an answer, and ther…

Suite 103 **There is no TL;DR to this joke. You have to read the whole thing in order to fully comprehend the joke.** The scotch wasn't going down easily today, but that didn't make pouring some more any more difficult for Adam. The phone call he had received three days earlier kept replaying in his mind over and over again. She was out of town for a press conference. ""I can't not go, honey. I was the lead designer for the prototype. Who else is going to announce and describe its features?"" Ad…

So, Alex had two parrots named Bob and Jim. Alex was an older gentlemen, retired and fairly religious with lots of time on his hands. He figured it'd be fun to pass his time teaching the parrots to pray the rosary. Alex went to his church, got a two small sets of rosary beads, gave them to Bob and Jim and got to work. After months of patience and no small amount of personal spiritual meditation, Bob and Jim could work the beads and recite all the prayers of the rosary. Now, Alex wasn't *that* re…

A man is fibbing away about how great things are in his country. Finally he starts describing the tall buildings in his country. ""There is a building so tall it took my friend Alex 72 hours to fall off it!"" ""Oh my God!"" says his friend. ""Surely he must have died!"" ""Of course. He was without food or water for 3 days!""

I received a warning at work for poor performance. We've got 4 sales-people in total. Over the past month Jack \[the boss's son\] has sold nothing. Alex has made £1000, in sales. I've made £5000, and the top guy made £16000. I got the warning for my performance being below average. I told them "That's just mean"

8-year old Alex had a crush on his teacher so he stayed behind in recess.

What was Alex Rodriguez's last hit?,"Who gives a shit he's finally done ruining the sport.