Alex Jokes

What was Alex Rodriguez's last hit? Who gives a shit, he's finally done ruining the sport.

Alex took a note into school that his mother had written for the teacher following a picture that he had drawn of Mummy at work earlier that week. It read as follows: Dear Miss Jones, The picture Alex drew was not a pole on the stage of a dancing club but of me selling a shovel at Wal-Mart. Yours Jenny Smith!

Math teacher: “Now Alex”, if you have $17 in one pocket and $27 in another pocket, what would you have?” Alex: “Someone else’s trousers on, Sir!”

In 100 meters race held in a school, it was announced 1, 2, 3 start. All started running except Alex. Coach: Why are you still waiting? Alex: My number is 4!

A young man was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor. A guy came running. He shouted: "Alex, your daughter Sweety is badly injured in accident". Not knowing what to do, the young man jumped from his office window in panic to go as-early-as-possible. While coming down when he was near tenth floor, he remembered he had no daughter named Sweety. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married. When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Alex.

While visiting Alex’s house, his friend noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model. Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Alex’s friend asked why the small one was there. “Oh,” Alex replied, “I have decided to watch less T.V.”

Knock Knock Who's there? Alec! Alec who? Alec-tricity. Isn't that a shock! Knock Knock Who's there? Alec! Alec who? Alec my lolly! Knock Knock Who's there? Alex! Alex who? Alex the questions round here! 1650. Knock Knock Who's there? Adair! Adair who? Adair once but I'm bald now! Knock Knock Who's there? Adlai! Adlai who? Adlai a bet on that!

Alex wants to celebrate his wife’s birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says: Let’s put, “you are not getting older you are getting better”. The salesman asks, “How do you want me to put it?” Alex says, Well put “You are not getting older”, at the top and You are getting better” at the bottom. The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the…

Ron: “I kicked lion’s face, pulled tiger’s tail, broke cheetah’s leg and threw an elephant.” Alex: “Are you kidding? It can’t be true.” Ron: No, it’s true. Inspite of these achievements, the toy shop owner kicked me out!”