Tennessee Jokes

Dear Abby My name is Gloria Mae and I'm from Tennessee. I'm 14 years old and am still a virgin. Is my brother gay?

What did Tennessee? What Arkansas.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.. One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. ""Well,"" he says, ""I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."" The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuri…

What did Tennessee? Whatever Arkansas.

What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common? Either way, someone is losing a trailer.

Pentagon Contract A contractor arrives home from Washington, D.C. and proudly tells his wife that he’s gotten the contract to fix a cracked walkway into the Pentagon. “Two other contractors showed up to bid on the job,” he explained to her. “One was from Minnesota, the other from Tennessee. All three of us went to the Pentagon with an official to examine the cracked walkway. “The Minnesota contractor took out a tape measure, did some measuring, then worked some figures with a pencil. “’Well,…

What has 3 teeth and 100 legs An unemployment line in Tennessee.

If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee then move to Texas and get divorced… Are they still brother and sister?

3 ducks A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like hillbillies.The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain…

If you marry a woman in Tennessee, but divorce her in Kentucky... ... is she still your sister?

A Small Collection of US State Jokes **Georgia** The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings." **Louisiana** A senior citizen in Louisiana was…

College Football Jokes - Enjoy! Don't know where they came from, but they are worth a chuckle or two. > Ohio State's > Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know > the meaning of the word > fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know > the meaning of a lot of > words." > ___________________________________________ > > Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? > > So they can dress > that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and > pick up trash on > Monday…

I was walking through Tennessee. I was walking through Tennessee, and I came upon a cabin. There was a man sitting on the porch with a big bottle in front of him. He called over to me, "Hey boy, get over here." Pointing to the bottle, he asked, "You know what this is?" "I don't know." "It's moonshine you idiot. Why don't you take a drink?" "No thanks" I said. All of a sudden he pulled out a pistol and pointed it at me. "If you don't take a drink, I'll blow your balls off!" Terrified, I t…

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.....> The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measu…

TIL that a 1997 study found that crows are particularly vulnerable to being hit by trucks and vans In 1997, researchers at the Southern Institute of Tennessee embarked on a mission— to discover why their nation’s highways were clogging up with dead crows. During studies, they discovered that crows were cooperative, opportunistic scavengers. A murder of crows would survey various highways and roadways searching for road kill, and they would appoint the loudest crow as a “lookout,” with other, …

Helpful tips for a safe eclipse viewing experience Found this on Twitter shared by someone who found it on Facebook as a screenshot of text. Those aren’t allowed here so, I've retyped the text. Credit to whoever came up with it: **Helpful tips for a safe eclipse viewing experience:** * The people of Tennessee may have the best view but will also be the first to be sacrificed. * Animals may behave strangely. If your dog speaks like a man heed its dire warning. * Don't trust the squirrel with th…

[First Date] Him: What are your hobbies? Her: I enjoy everything by Tennessee Williams. Him: Nice. I like watching Venus and Serena play too.

hillbilly went hunting A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies. The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "T…

A detective was once called to a farm in rural Tennessee to investigate a murder. [OC] Upon arriving, he asked the farmer what had happened. “Well” the farmer said, “I was working in my barn, replacing the oil filter on the tractor when I heard somebody scream, then a loud ‘wham’, and then silence. I rushed outside and saw my farmhand, dead in the middle of the yard, with a pool of blood forming around his head” “Hmmm” said the detective, “any witnesses who might have seen what happened?” “T…

The hunting license A hunter went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hunters. The game warden ordered to the hunter to show his hunting license, and the hunter pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed it's butt, and said, \- "T…

What do hurricanes and a Tennessee divorce have in common? Someone’s gonna lose a trailer.

Two Tennessee Rednecks Bubba and Jim Bob

Two Tennessee rednecks are sitting at a bar. Two Tennessee rednecks

Hey girl are you from Tennessee?

What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas