Williams Jokes

I'm sure there'll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams' death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones.

Williams Sonoma excels at selling me cookware I don't need to prepare meals with ingredients I can't afford for dinner guests I don't have.

"And if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you make up a story about jumping off a bridge too?"-- Teen Brian Williams' mother

Venus and Serena are famous for being Tennis-y Williams

Court Case A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like th…

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, ""Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bu…

One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home? The livestock dealer said: ""Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"" ""Hey, thanks!"" the farmer said,…

What's Serena Williams' favorite time of day? Ten-ish.

pregnant A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied... ""Well your Honor, it was like this: …

Sam, William, Richard and Ridge are sitting in an English class. Sam, William, Richard and Ridge are sitting in an English class and things are getting pretty boring. They're discussing the Victorian Period. Ridge is a math major, and he starts determining how much money it would cost to print the words on William's book on a giant plaque. William is making fun of him for being nerdy, and Sam is laughing at him because he is also a math guy. Ridge begins having a panic attack because it's gettin…

What's black and doesn't work? [Very NSFW] Bryce Williams' sense of perspective.

A pregnant lady on a bus A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The young man replied, Well your Hon…

Some girl wanted me to take her to see 50 Shades of Grey... So I took her to Sherwin-Williams.

that did the trick. A pregnant lady that got on the bus She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied... ""Well your Honor, it was like this…

Woah! Brian Williams' fly is wide open! Newsflash.

Is it too soon for a Robin Williams Joke? It's been a few weeks, so I think the waters are safe for this joke I told my cousin: David Carradine and Robin Williams are in heaven, Carradine looks at Williams and says, ""what do you mean you weren't jerking off?""

A friend's uncle asked how to use Amazon. He may need an Internet primer... ...do you think Sherwin-Williams makes one?

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, ""Well your Honor, it was like this, when t…

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, ""Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, William's dad took him aside. ""Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She's a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm…

A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing. She complained to the driver and had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, ""Well your Honor, it was like this, When the lady got on the b…

A Lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the forth move, the man burst out laughing. She complained to the driver and had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, ""Well your Honour, it was like this. When the lady got on the b…

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly elderly woman. He approached her and asked ""Mrs. Jones do you know me?"" She responded ""Why yes I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie you cheat on your wife you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never…

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness a grandmotherly elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked ""Mrs. Jones do you know me?"" She responded ""Why yes I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie you cheat on your wife you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything…

A pregnant woman gets on a bus A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied... "Well your Hon…

A Case of the pregnant lady A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your…