A detective was once called to a farm in rural Tennessee to investigate a murder. [OC] Upon arriving, he asked the farmer what had happened. “Well” the farmer said, “I was working in my barn, replacing the oil filter on the tractor when I heard somebody scream, then a loud ‘wham’, and then silence. I rushed outside and saw my farmhand, dead in the middle of the yard, with a pool of blood forming around his head” “Hmmm” said the detective, “any witnesses who might have seen what happened?” “There weren’t any people around, but there was my old faithful cow Mary, my trusty farm dog Darren, my horse, Geoffrey, and a couple of sheep, Michael and George. When I asked them who did it, they just looked accusingly at each other” “Right” the detective said, jumping to his feet “There’s only one way to get to the bottom of this - a battle of the bands” The farmer was perplexed, but the detective had a fearsome reputation in the area for solving the hardest of crimes, where everyone else had given up. So, a few hours later, they reconvened in the yard where the farmer had built a makeshift stage as the animals bemusedly looked down at their instruments. Mary the cow and Darren the dog were up first, with Mary singing so beautifully that the farmer and detective were brought to tears, while Darren accompanied on guitar. Next, Geoffrey the horse strode onto stage and performed a flawless rendition of Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1. The farmer turned to the detective with tears in his eyes and said “surely, something so beautiful couldn’t have come from a murderer”. Finally, at their turn, the sheep leapt onto stage, resplendent in sequinned jumpsuits and started tap dancing with incredible zeal. They leapt through the air, their sequins spinning like a rainbow in the night sky, tumbled, turned and kicked with unimaginable agility. But yet… something wasn’t right. Their movements didn’t match the music - sometimes they were ahead of the beat, sometimes behind. “Stop!” yelled the detective. “We have our murderers! George, Michael - you’re never going to dance again!” “But… how… how did you know?” asked the farmer incredulously. “Quite simple really” said the detective and then, turning back to the sheep “Guilty sheep have got no rhythm”.