Leave everyone stranded at a bank robbery to play laser tag when you're the get away driver and suddenly no one is your friend anymore

It's a hard life. Very long but a goodun: There once was a large large city and within this large large city was a large large park, within this there was a large large lake. By the shore of this stood a normal sized bench; on it their lived a hobo. This unfortunate gentleman lived their 365 days a year come rain or shine doing his best to get buy feasting on the pigeons and rats of the park whilst begging to support his addiction to drinking bleach. It is winter; our poor friend has just awoken…

A man is stranded in the middle of a desert. Thirsty and desperate, he stumbles upon a small camp owned by a priest. The priest sees him and decides to help the poor man by lending him his horse to ride to the nearest town. ""There's just one thing you need to know about this horse,"" says the priest. ""He's very religious, so to get him to move say 'Thank God', and say 'Amen' to get him to stop."" The man mounts up and starts to ride towards town, saying ""Thank God, Thank God,"" as the horse b…

Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, ""Don't worry, they will definitely find us, and soon."" ""Really? Why do you think so?"" ""I owe the IRS five years' worth of taxes.""