Obama Jokes

Word of the day - Obama. I opened a bottle of brandy and drank it Obama self.

Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.

1) "Obamas spying on you."2) "Eh. Cost of being free!"1) "Obama wants to give you healthcare."2) "WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?"

Obama: any good ideas in how to defeat isis? *Biden raises hand* Obama: besides assembling the Avengers? *Biden lowers hand*

On this day in 1947 Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier, whereas Obama did nothing for America in ALL of 1947.

I wonder if racist families have that one liberal uncle who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and goes on about how Obama is DEFINITELY American.

Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have "evolved." Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about.

Best christmas joke about Obama, (racist) So I was walking through Wal-Mart looking to buy new ornaments for my christmas tree, when I saw an Obama ornament. Funny, I didn't know it was acceptable to hang a black man from a tree again.

So Obama calls Romney.... And says, I got good news and bad news. Romney says ""What is it?"" Obama says ""Well the good news is I think it's time for a Mormon president."" ""That's great Barack! What's the bad news?"" Obama chuckles and says ""My baptism is next Sunday""

Obama goes to an elementary school to talk to the kids... Obama goes to an elementary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and Obama asks him his name. "" Stanley ,"" responds the little boy. ""And what is your question, Stanley ?"" ""I have 4 questions: First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of Congress? Second, why are you President when John McCain got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama…

KFC came out with the Obama Bucket.. Its all left wings, and chicken shits.

Another airplane joke Not sure if this is already here or not: Obama, Michelle Obama, and Oprah are on a plane. Obama says, 'I'm the President, I'm so rich, and have so much money, I can throw 1 million dollars out and make 1 million people happy.' Michelle Obama said, 'Well since I'm your wife, I can throw 2 million out of this plane and make 2 million people happy.' Oprah said, 'I have my own talk show and give stuff everyday, so I can throw 4 million dollars out of this plane and make 4 milli…

Whoever said Obama never created any jobs... Obviously has never heard of Isis

Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, ""Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in."" God asks Obama first: ""What do you believe?"" He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, ""I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen."" God can't help but see the essential goodness of…

Have you heard about Trumps revision of Obama phones? You'll be able to trade them in for a alarm clock and job application.

The real difference between Obama and Trump Obama makes jokes. Trump is a joke.

Difference between Democrats and Republicans A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him: ""Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."" The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, ""You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 1…

Obama and Putin have a discussion.. Putin: Let's just talk about this man to man.. Obama: Ok one moment, let me get Michelle. My uncle told it much better but I can't remember how he said it. Feel free to repost it if you can format it better.

Heaven Obama, Hillary, and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, ""Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in.""God asks Obama first: ""What do you believe?"" He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, ""I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen"". God can't help but see the essential good…

Pakistan president calls to Obama in the morning And says ""I'm sorry to hear about the terrorist attacks in New York, I wanted to be the first one to call and show my support to America"" After a pause Obama replies ""What attack? I have no news of such attacks yet"" A dramatic silence prevails After a while Obama hears a voice on phone that sounded like someone shouting ""shit I forgot about the time difference"".

Obama proved a black man can even be president.. And that no matter how high up a black man gets he can't get out of government housing!

I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.

George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump were all leaving Washington D.C. and going the same direction, so they decided to take Air Force 1. Unfortunately, due to a mechanical malfunction, Air Force 1 crashed, killing all aboard. So Bush, Obama, and Trump approached the pearly gates, where God sat on his throne. ""Tell me, what do you believe in?"" God asked Mr. Bush. ""I believe in education and free trade,"" was the reply. ""Excellent. Take a seat here on my right,"" God said. ""Now tell …

What did Obama say after his mom finished serving dinner? ""Thanks Omama.""

Bush, Obama and Trump go to a job interview with God... God asks Bush: ""What do you believe in?"" Bush answers: ""I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"" ""Very well"", says God. ""Come sit to my right."" Next, God asks Obama: ""What do you believe in?"" Obama answers: ""I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."" ""Good"", says God. ""You shall sit to my left."" Finally, God asks Trump: ""What do you believe in?"" Trump answers: ""I believe you're s…