Obama Jokes

OBAMA REVEALS HES A KID STANDING ON A KIDS SHOULDERS. ROMNEY COUNTERS BY REVEALING HES 3 TINY KIDS. 20 BABIES TUMBLE OUT OF BIDENS CLOTHES

Mainstream Media: Obama signs repeal of DADT. Fox News: Foreigner masquerading as President admits he's gay.

Mitt Romney says that people who are voting for Barack Obama don't work and don't pay taxes. I guess that means Romney is voting for Obama.

Obama keeps trying to get me to kiss this top secret document from Syria but I keep telling him I'm not the kinda guy who'll kiss intel

Obama says he's pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing.

She was Hannah Montana when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama.

If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. "Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."

If I were Obama, I'd totally lead with "My fellow Americans, the situation looks popeless." #SOTU

Trump getting elected after Obama was not what they meant by Orange is the New Black

Biden: I think if we just leave a small- Obama: No Biden: Just a small Mouse Trap inspired- Obama: No booby traps, Joe

Going from Obama to Trump is like going to a nice restaurant but it's full so u leave and have to eat an old ketchup packet from ur car

Breaking: Fox News reports Obama is no longer a suspect.

Any woman with three or more exes in her city could have told Obama how to avoid Putin in Normandy.

This Obama guy is the worst rapper ever.

Since they won't vote anyway, Obama should make the GOP look bad by nominating a bald eagle holding a picture of Jesus to the Supreme Court.

[obama cures cancer, invents hoverboards, saves baby by killing 3 lions with a flurry of devastating headbutts] Americans: LION KILLER OMG

The only lie Republicans haven't told about Obama is he's white.

[white house staff meeting] Obama: Any questions? *Biden raises hand* Obama: Spongebob is yellow Joe. *Biden returns to coloring book*

Mike Huckabee calls Obama a "pretend Christian", and if anyone's an expert on "pretend Christians", it's Mike Huckabee.

Wait, is Obama our second black President or our first black President again?

Grandma got run over by a Prius. Grandma is fine. The Prius is totaled. And there's glitter and Obama stickers everywhere. Merica.

THANKSGIVING ICEBREAKERS: (1) Obama, am I right? (2) Ebola, am I right? (3) Was his full name Bugs Bunny or was he just a bunny named Bugs?

$2000 date? We better be sitting at the table with Jay-Z and Obama at the same time while eating dinosaurs & sippin' on virgin Indian tears.

joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*

Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know.