Normandy Jokes

"Retweet! Retweet!" yelled the German Commander as we invaded Normandy

I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your "scary" battle at Normandy, grandpa.

Any woman with three or more exes in her city could have told Obama how to avoid Putin in Normandy.

i wonder how many of the men who stormed the beaches of normandy on d-day in world war 2 had their bellybuttons pierced

What did Hitler say when the Allies landed on Normandy? Dang, I did Nazi that coming.

Hitler has heard that the Americans have liberated Normandy Hitler: It's over Eva. Everything's a disaster. We might as well call this Disaster Day. Eva: Why not just call it D-Day?

3 Medics Normandy landings. 3 Medics take cover in a crater when a shell detonates behind them taking one of the medics legs off. One of the medics - still a little drunk - confides in his comrade... ""He told me last night if he ever loses one leg to amputate the other"" ""Are you sure that's right"" asks the other medic. ""If it wasn't we'll tell him he lost both"" Either way he didn't have a leg to stand on.

I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my iPhone ...so you can shut the hell up about how scary D-Day at Normandy was, grandpa.

There was this General-in-training and his superioirs were asking him questions ""What happened on June 6 1944?"" ""We stormed the beach at Normandy which later became known as D-Day sir!"" ""What was the turining point of wordl war 2?"" ""Battle of the bulge sir!"" ""What's is the importance of May 12"" The Man thought and thought ""I don't know sir!"" The superior then said ""Well I'll tell your wife that you forgot her birhtday""

The Invasion of Normandy It was a tough morning on the Omaha beach, and the landing of the Allied troops was not going well. The beach was riddled with obstacles and mines, and the German gunfire was relentless. Suddenly, the Allied men notice a man emerging from the waters. “I can help you”, he declares in deep voice. “Who are you?”, a soldier asks. ”Doesn’t matter” ”Where are you from?” ”Well, I am a soldier from Portugal. But I have decided to not be neutral today. Let me handle this…

An elderly American tourist arrived at French immigration at Paris's Charles de Gaulle Airport and began fumbling for his passport. The French official quickly grew impatient. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" he asked in an unnecessarily aggressive tone. "Yes, but it was a while back," replied the old man, still rummaging in his bag. "In that case," continued the official, "you should know to have your passport ready for inspection." "But the last time I came to France I didn't have t…