Gop Jokes

Things the GOP has battled this week: 1. Ethics 2. Intelligence

I can't wait to start blaming the GOP for everything wrong in America not being magically fixed upon their election to office.

PROPOSAL: Rebrand shootings as "late-term abortion." Watch the GOP scramble to stop them.

Since they won't vote anyway, Obama should make the GOP look bad by nominating a bald eagle holding a picture of Jesus to the Supreme Court.

Folks I'm seeing Trainwreck tomorrow night. Then after the GOP debate, I might go to the new Amy Schumer movie! Yeah, I went there

Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units.

If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election... ...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

The GOP gets kidnapped The kidnappers demand the ransom of 500M USD or they will douse them in gas and light them on fire. So there were people in the streets collecting donations, and they asked me at an intersection ""You must have heard the news recently. Could you spare a little to help us out in this initiative?"" ""How much is everyone giving on average?"" ""About a gallon, give or take""

Why doesn't the GOP establishment want Trump as their nominee? They hate colored people.

How do you get the GOP to support universal healthcare? Make it for *White* people only.

Nancy Reagan gave the ultimate sacrifice today... She'd rather die than see Trump win the GOP nomination

looking for a great stand up comedy show? just watch the GOP debate

Donald Trump is raping the republican party unlike the female body, the GOP has no power to shut it down.

The GOP debate. What a shitshow.

How do you tell the difference between members of the GOP and ISIS? Skin color.

The GOP candidates are competing to win over Scott Walker supporters after he pulled out of the race... But all three of them remain undecided still.

The GOP should be like a good hand in Bridge No Trump

Rand Paul's debate strategy has been leaked. He's going to filibuster the GOP debate.

A man shot himself in the head at an NRA sponsored NASCAR event... while the GOP shot themselves in the foot on the NRA sponsored gun bill. (Jokes for the week of 4/13-4/19 @fridayupdate on twitter.)

Panda Express was the most famous place for Orange Chicken. Now it's the GOP.

Price of the GOP ticket? Tuppence.

You know why Trump is still the GOP candidate? The GOP is pro-life.