Jay Jokes

Jay Z and Beyonce had a 4 million dollar dinner with Obama.... Wtf did they eat? Fresh dinosaur?

Jay-Z's voice is so beautiful. I wish he rapped about stuff I cared about.

The most dire of Jay-Z's 99 problems is his inability to properly delegate minor problems.

I met Jay-Z in '09 and he said "Meet my fiance, Beyonce" and I was like "That rhymes, you should rap!" and we laughed and he sold me crack.

I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max.

Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car.

"hey jay" "sup world war" "how u doin' dragon ball" - the z family reunion

Jay-Z is actually the 26th generation of the Jay family, which dates back to the middle-ages, when Jay-A invented rap.

"The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert" - my 9 yr old daughter

It would be a fun surprise if Jay-Z said he finished laying down some tracks and when you went outside there was a railroad.

Jay Z: Can I get a what what? Teacher: Jay Z, can you or may you? Jay Z: SORRY MAY I GET A WHAT WHAT Teacher: Yes, you may get a what what.

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyonce. *drops mic, throws up dynasty sign*

The first of Jay-Z's 99 problems is the obsessive compulsive disorder that requires him to know his precise number of problems at all times.

Beyonce: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyonce: Coachella.

If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us

Jay-Z puts down his phone and rolls his eyes. "The wife." "I hear that!" says Kanye, trying do the same but accidentally going cross-eyed.

Historic moments in rap. Jay W [username taken] Jay X [username taken] Jay Y [username taken] Jay Z

$2000 date? We better be sitting at the table with Jay-Z and Obama at the same time while eating dinosaurs & sippin' on virgin Indian tears.

Jay-Z has an underachieving brother named Lay.

Jay-Z has vowed to never use the word ""bitch"" again I guess he has 100 problems now.

What did Jay-Z call his wife-to-be? Feyonce.

What do you call Jay-Z having a leg transplant? A hip-hop hip op.

What did Jay Z say when his friend died? No Biggie.

Before and After marriage! What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyonce.

When Beyonce is on her period... ...does Jay Z have 100 problems?