Beyonce Jokes

Jay Z and Beyonce had a 4 million dollar dinner with Obama.... Wtf did they eat? Fresh dinosaur?

Beyonce didn't almost fall everyone else just messed up

How would I describe myself in three words? Eats anything. Beyonce.

more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of Beyonce running through your veins

Beyonce made a song called "Single Ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

I met Jay-Z in '09 and he said "Meet my fiance, Beyonce" and I was like "That rhymes, you should rap!" and we laughed and he sold me crack.

Teacher: you can be anything you want Me: Beyonce Her: well, not that (we stare at each other blankly for 17 min...) Me: Hi I'm Beyonce

While it's true that gay marriage doesn't nullify straight marriage, if Beyonce was born on your birthday it's not your birthday anymore.

so sick of people who aren't Beyonce

STOP EDITING YOUR PICS, what if you go missing? How tf can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram but Waka Flocka in real life?

Beyonce was Destiny's Child. The other two were adopted.

imagined Beyonce taking a dump and it ruined my morning

Beyonce should have her own trampoline company.

Pregnant - Beyonce Pregnant with twins - Beytwice

DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me.

Every time Beyonce types out her name, she has to google "Pokemon" and then copy/paste the "e".

(confronts Beck in line at Jamba Juice, holds up hurried sketch of Beyonce, aggressively does "Single Ladies" dance)

It's decided. If I have 3 kids they're getting named "Bed" "Bath" and "Beyonce."

I bet every time Beyonce leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair

when i was 17 my bucket list was "buy a house" & "marry a tycoon" now i'm 27 it's "tickle a baby hedgehog" and "learn Beyonce choreography"

Beyonce: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyonce: Coachella.

If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us

which is the Beyonce song where it's like we're independent but also you should marry us but like we're super-strong but also pay our bills

- "I love Beyonce... - Whatever floats your boat dude. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - ..."

.@Beyonce can you feed my turtles while I'm on vacation