Stanley Jokes

Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today? *raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*

Who called it confronting ur husband Stanley about flirty texts from a girl named Rebecca from a former soviet state and not Who'sbeckystan?

Obama goes to an elementary school to talk to the kids... Obama goes to an elementary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and Obama asks him his name. "" Stanley ,"" responds the little boy. ""And what is your question, Stanley ?"" ""I have 4 questions: First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of Congress? Second, why are you President when John McCain got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama…

The missionaries with Fruit. Three missionaries were caught by a tribe of cannibals and told they had to pass an initiation test or it would be into the pot for dinner. The chief told them to gather an armful of fruit and return. The first missionary returned with an arm full of apples. Right said the chief they will now be shoved up your bum. Any sign of emotion and in the pot. For the first few apples he remained still but on the fourth apple he grimaced and was thrown in the pot. The second g…

My name's Stanley, but my friends call me Stan... So no one calls me Stan

Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, ""Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over."" The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, ""Nope, ain't Stanley ."" The mor…

Stanley... Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, “Nope, ain't Stanley .…

An elderly lady calls her husband during his drive home, "Stanley, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 5, Please be careful!"... Stanley said, "It's not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!"

A hotel is holding a convention for chess aficionados... During the daytime, the chess fans can play each other in the ballroom, watch panels that discuss optimal tactics and long-term strategies, or watch videos of famous chess matches. In the night, many of them gather in the hotel lobby to discuss the game and what they've seen today. The hotel manager overhears groups of conversations in the lobby as he walks around. "I once beat a supercomputer at my local university," brags one. "That'…

An elderly lady calls her husband during his drive home "Stanley