Germany Jokes

I asked my German friend how many jews there are in Germany today He replied: I don't know, do you want me to gas? (This is conversation actually took place like an hour ago)

What do you call a Germany virgin? Good 'n' Tight

Grocery shopping on a diet is easy in Germany.. Just look for the *gluten tag*.

A student sits at his desk and begins his economics exam. He opens the paper and reads the first question. To Germany, how much is Greece worth - 1 mark

Can't remember a Germany hyperinflation joke... I can't remember how this joke goes. A father is asking his son to buy some loaves of bread and then he gives his son bread, and as their conversation goes on, the number of marks that they talk about goes up and up. Can anyone help?

In Germany, these are the three main fat groups: 1. Gesattigt Fett (Saturated Fat) 2. Trans Fett (Trans Fat) 3. Boba Fett

A British , a German, a Japanese and a Chinese man were in an airplane. The plane that was carrying an important U.N. mission was losing altitude, so the pilot said that three of them must jump out and without a parachute since they have dumped everything else. The British man decided to go first. He yelled "" Long live Great Britain!"" And then jumped off. The German man, however unwillingly, decided to sacrifice himself for the team. He yelled "" Long live Germany!"" And then jumped off. Immed…

Need help with a joke! What's a funny reason that Germany or Germans can't be trusted that doesn't have to do with nazis?

My grandad fought in the war, he was posted to germany. He was Missing In Action for weeks, because the army couldn't afford recorded post.

I want to open a gay bar in Germany called Pole-Land. You know they'll invade the place.

Germany 7 - 1 Brazil

An English teacher was sent to Germany to teach the German kids English words... On day one, he taught all the words that started with A. On day two, he taught all the words that started with B. After day three, which was words starting with C, he thought to himself, ""How are they going to handle D-Day?

Ground Control I was a Pan Am 552 Flight Engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich, Germany. I was listening to the radio since I was the junior crew member. This was the conversation I overheard (I don't recall call signs any longer): Lufthansa: (In German) ""Ground, what is our start clearance time?"" Ground: (In English) ""If you want an answer you must speak English."" Lufthansa: (In English) ""I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"" Beautiful En…

Grandpa Beetle Joke My great grandfather worked at Volkswagen during the 1950s in Germany. As you may know by now, most cars are made on an assembly line and workers usually only see the one part of the car that they are responsible for assembling. He worked there until he earned enough money to buy his own Beetle. He then drove the Beetle back to our home country when the car had broken down. He opened the hood of the car to find that the engine was missing! At this moment, his friend from the …

Yesterday in the World Cup, England beat Germany for the first time in recorded history. In fact, it's the first time England has won anything on the 4th of July.

You know what else has a 2-0 score between the USA and Germany? The world wars

The USA just beat Germany 2-0 Just like the score for the World Wars.

If you are standing with one foot in France and one in Germany taking a piss, what are you? European

Why couldn't Germany win a world war? Because they'd Russia lot

Coach of England calls the German coach Germany has not been defeated in two year. So the English coach calls the German coach and asks ""hey, how do you guys manage to win every game?, What is your secret tactic?"" The German coach says ""Oh it is simple, after every training I let my players play against cones, they usually win 40 to 0, it gives them great morale for the next game, you must absolutely try it"" The England coach thinks this might be very inspiring to his boys especially since t…

The USSR is sending a Jewish spy into the Nazi Germany. He is told - 'Rosenberg, here's a bunch of antinazi propaganda leaflets. You have you distribute them among the Germans'. After a couple days Rosenberg goes missing and is assumed dead. A month later he returns all dirty but with a pile of money and says - 'I never had to sell such an unpopular product'.

Thailand women VS Germany women Ahead of this evening's scheduled game between Thailand and Germany in the women's world cup, it is reported that the Thailand team will be subjected to a surprise search of their shorts. Just to be on the safe side.

How did people travel through Germany when Hitler was in power? Not sea. Get it? like Nazi. but not sea. get it?

What do you call riot police in Germany? Kraut Control

A rich sheik's son goes to Germany to study... ...and his old man receives a letter. It says: ""Hello, father. It's great here! The people are nice, university isn't that hard, and life is pretty good. The only thing which makes me feel kind of bad is that all my friends go to school by train while I drive in my golden Ferrari."" About a week later, the son receives a letter with his father's signature on it. It reads: ""Not to worry my son, I just transferred $300 million onto your bank account…