DAD: I invented a diaper that's also a time machine! MOM: Where do the poops go DAD: dunno! [CUT TO: A BUNKER IN GERMANY, 1942] HITLER: omfg

A rich sheik's son goes to Germany to study... ...and his old man receives a letter. It says: ""Hello, father. It's great here! The people are nice, university isn't that hard, and life is pretty good. The only thing which makes me feel kind of bad is that all my friends go to school by train while I drive in my golden Ferrari."" About a week later, the son receives a letter with his father's signature on it. It reads: ""Not to worry my son, I just transferred $300 million onto your bank account…

A man visits a priest for confession... An elderly man in Germany walks into a confessional box after feeling the urge that he needed to confess. Man: Forgive me father, for I have sinned. During the great war I hid a Jewish refugee in my attic. Priest: Well, that's not a sin my son, but rather a heroic act of great compassion and daring. Man: But I made him agree to pay me 20 marks for each week he stayed. Priest: I must admit, that wasn't a great decision, but I am sure you did it for a good c…

Terrible jokes my Dad told me as a kid Joke 1: How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The peanut butter has footprints Joke 2: How do you know if an elephant is in your cherry tree? Elephants have blue eyes I don't know if this has anything to do with how awful the jokes are, but my Dad immigrated from Germany in the 1960's