Great Britain Jokes

Justin Bieber on the phone. Says he "won't be coming back to the UK in a hurry". Well played, Great Britain. Job done.

Beer is good. After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, ""Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."" The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, ""I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."" The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, ""I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mo…

The geography of men and women. The geography of a woman: Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered , half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman i…

The geography of women.. Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered , half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glor…

Great Britain has left the EU Now they have a GB of free space

Great Britains new Prime Minister Did you see that Boris Johnson might be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain? I remember when the U.S. had a BJ in the top office!

So I was at this little pub in Great Britain..... I notice these two women, both cute but a bit chubby. I approached the girls and asked ""Are you two ladies from Scotland""?, to which the heftier one replied ""It's Wales you idiot""! Taken a bit aback by this, I replied ""Oh, sorry. Are you two Whales from Scotland""?

A British , a German, a Japanese and a Chinese man were in an airplane. The plane that was carrying an important U.N. mission was losing altitude, so the pilot said that three of them must jump out and without a parachute since they have dumped everything else. The British man decided to go first. He yelled "" Long live Great Britain!"" And then jumped off. The German man, however unwillingly, decided to sacrifice himself for the team. He yelled "" Long live Germany!"" And then jumped off. Immed…

X-Post from /r/Standup: If I ever got on stage I'd give my version of the Teletubbies... Here's my skit on the Teletubbies. So I hate the Teletubbies. It's one of the most mindless children's shows I've ever seen. I sometimes had to watch it because my ex's nephew loved the show and when we baby sat him that's all he wanted to watch. To me all it is, is a bunch of weird looking giant different colored babies dancing around on an acid trip, with dumb shapes on their heads. How is this informative…

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, ""Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."" The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, ""I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."" The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, ""I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring …

Why is it so wet in Great Britain? Because of all the kings and queens that reigned (rained) there.

eer booze and fun!' 'After the Great Britain Beer Festival in London all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says ""Hey Senor I would like the world's best beer a Corona."" The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says ""I'd like the best beer in the world give me 'The King Of Beers' a Budweiser."" The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says ""I'd like the only beer made with Rocky M…

The Queens Riddle Barack Obama met with the Queen of Great Britain. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?" "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a b…

A big earthquake hits the Middle East... A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. Iraq and Iran are totally ruined and the governments don’t know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is sending troops to help. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Latin American countries are sending Supplies. New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops. The A…

The Geography of a man and women THE GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN AND MEN The Geography of a Woman Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable plac…

Just imagine Great Britain without tea... Grea Briain

It's a good thing that France bailed out the US in our Revolutionary war with Great Britain. Otherwise, now, we would all be speaking English.

A lonely Yank is vacationing in Europe.. ...and is just about to finish out his trip in Great Britain, which saddens him, because he came looking for romance, but has had zero luck. He's out at the pub one evening, where he spies a pair of women drinking alone. They're a wee bit on the larger side, so he heads over to chat them up, thinking that his hefty American physique won't be as much of a hinderance as it was on the Continent. "Hello ladies," he said, "if you don't mind me asking: are yo…

The geography of a woman as she ages: (from a friend) Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a …

How much free space does the EU have since Great Britain left? 1 GB

The US should rejoin Great Britain Its not like we mind Taxation without representation anymore.

Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016?,"Those on Team Great Britain because they'll leave.

Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave.