Germany Jokes

America is still a British colony In England we speak English In France we speak French In Germany we speak German In China we speak Chinese In America we speak English *drops mic and leaves*

Why hiring foreign workers can be bad... Boss: Where were you born? Woman: Germany Boss: Really? Which part? Woman: what you mean which part? Whole body born in Germany!

Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]

Why did Germany run out of gas? Because they gave it to the Jews I'll be in Argentina for awhile.

Did you know that Germany was the original creator of the Amazing Race? They tried to introduce it back in 1933. But the show caust too much.

the united states russia argentina and germany walk into a bar...... germany turns to argentina and says ""hey wanna go into the country with me"" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH get it?

A Briton is on vacation in Germany. The man walks into a bar. Dies.

an old Russian man wants to visit a friend in germany an old Russian man remembers a good friend he had in east Germany, and he decides he should go check up. He doesn't have enough money for a plane, however, so he decides he will drive. The next morning he and his wife get into their car and start driving. Several hours go by on the empty road and after a while, they reach the Latvian border. a man stops them and asks for passports. He asks in broken Russian ""your names?"" the man responds ""…

A German, an Italian, an American, and a Mexican are sitting on a roof... celebrating after a hard days work. The German pulls out a bottle of beer, takes a long chug and throws the rest of the bottle off the roof. The Italian asks, ""Why did you waste that?"" The German replies, ""Don't worry, we have so much beer in Germany."" The Italian then pulls out a bottle of wine, takes a long chug and throws the rest off the roof. The German asks, ""Why would you do that?"" The Italian replies, ""Don't…

A far right party wins an election in Germany with 60% of the vote. I did nazi that coming

I heard Nintendo once planned to change Donkey Kong's name for their audience in Germany There, he was originally gonna be called ""Danke Kong""

Dettol went to GERMANY Now its called ANY.

This is actually a legit sentence in Germany Wenn Fliegen hinter Fliegen fliegen fliegen Fliegen Fliegen nach. Roughly translate to: when flys are flying behind flys, then they re following flys. OR Wenn Robben hinter Arjen Robben robben robben Robben Robben nach.

Why did the NSA spy on Germany ? Because after meeting with Merkel, they heard Obama say ""I'd tap that"".

What s a Muslim s favorite cologne? GERMANY!!!!

Country Music Album My friends don't seem to be enjoying my attempt at a Country Music album. It bothers them that the song about Germany runs straight into the song about Poland.

Morning after The morning after pill...did you know it's called the ""anti-baby pill"" in Germany? And in Sweden it's called the ""regret pill"". However in Chicago it's called the ""crime fighter"" pill.

After the apocalypse, in cannibalistic Germany, ""Kindergarten"" takes on a new, darker meaning.

Why british wete at war with nazi germany? Because they couldnt afford another Aryans stealing their tea.

What did Germany say to Britain during World War II? I'd luft to waffe a few bombs in your direction.

There is an American, a German, and a Mexican. They are in all in a boat. The boat is about to sink. Each of them have to throw things out to make the boat lighter. The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says, ""We have a lot of bear in Germany so we don't need these!"" The Mexican throws out 5 cases of burritos and says, ""We have a lot of burritos in Mexico so we don't need these!"" The American grabs the Mexican and throws him out. The German asks why he threw the Mexican out. And the Amer…

Hitler Joke One day, Adolf Hitler was just hanging out in Germany after he became leader. He became thirsty and asked his servant, ""will you please fetch me a glass of juice?"". ""Of course, sir"", the servant replied A few minutes passed and Hitler still didn't receive his juice. He calls for his servant and says, ""where is my juice?"". ""Gassing them as we speak"", replied the servant. ""What are you talking about?"", replied Hitler curiously. ""All the Jews, gone"", stated the servant. Hitl…

Germany Q1: What would Germany be called had they not surrendered at the end of WW2 ? A1: Gerfew Q2: What would Germany be called if the issue in Q1 happened before the holocaust? A2: Jewmany

Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany? It was x-axis

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany? Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.