America is still a British colony In England we speak English In France we speak French In Germany we speak German In China we speak Chinese In America we speak English *drops mic and leaves*

Yesterday in the World Cup, England beat Germany for the first time in recorded history. In fact, it's the first time England has won anything on the 4th of July.

An Irish, a Scot and an English man are digging..... in their back gardens. 12 feet down the English man finds copper wire. In the local paper he announces England had internet 200 years ago. The Scots mon finds wire at 16 feet and announces Scotland had internet 300 years ago. The Irish man digs 22 feet! but finds nothing and states in the paper. 400 years ago Ireland had wireless.

UK Fire Insurance A man and his wife moved back home to Cork, from London. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was 2000.00 a year! When they arrived in Cork, they went to an Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple that the price would be 39.00. The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Ireland to insure, because it cost 2000.00 in England! The agent turned his comp…