France Jokes

Geography class -Whats the capital of Germany? -Berlin teacher -Whats the capital of France? -Berlin again teacher -Whats the capital of Poland? -Still Berlin teacher -Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography! -We'll see about that

Why is their always lightning in France? Obviously, since lightning takes the path of least resistance.

Lance Armstrong I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike

A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are riding a plane... …when the plane's engines fail and it starts to go down. The pilot grabs one of the parachutes and jumps from the plane. The remaining passengers see that there is only one chute left, and quickly do the math. The Englishman stands up, straightens his tie, says "God save the Queen!" and jumps from the plane. The Frenchman, not wanting to be seen as less noble than the Englishman, says "Vive la France!" and jumps to his…

Coffee has been banned in France. You probably haven’t heard because the French press isn’t covering the story.

Why did England eat France? Because Francis Bacon

Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded? I heard there was nothing left but de Brie.

Why do French bakers only use one egg per cake? Because in France, one egg is un oeuf.

Why are there so many lightning strikes in France? Because lightning always takes the path of least resistance!

Why do French people only have one egg for breakfast? Because in France, one egg is un ouef

A Frenchman walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder. The cat is wearing a little baseball cap. “Hey, that’s neat,” says the bartender. “Where did you get that?” “France,” the kitty says. “They’ve got millions of them!”

A Frenchman walks into a cafeteria with a parrot on his shoulder. The man in cafe asks, “Where did you get that thing?” The parrot replies immediately, “In France, there are millions of them!”

There was a man well known as a petty swindler and an insurance scammer. He was in court with his biggest con ever. A traffic accident against a huge national trucking company. The man, daily, was wheeled into the courtroom and painfully testified and the defense attorneys couldn't shake him or his story. His legs were useless and he couldn't straighten his hands. The jury awarded him eighty-five million dollars which was upheld on appeal. After the case was finalized, he was wheeled into …

Which nation values skinny girls the most? France. They all want to bone-a-petite

It's a good thing that France bailed out the US in our Revolutionary war with Great Britain. Otherwise, now, we would all be speaking English.

When did kissing become such an important custom in France? When Louis XIV told the French people, "L'état, say mwah"

My sister had a hard time introducing herself in France. Her name is Jemma Pell.

Why is EA the worst gaming company in America? Because Ubisoft is in France.

Did you know the first French Fry wasn't actually cooked in France? It was cooked in Greece.

An Englishman, Frenchman and Turk Were all in a train cabin. Feeling a little warm, the Frenchman opened the window and a little fly came buzzing in. Wanting to impress the other two, the Frenchman takes out his sword and in one swoop sliced the fly in half. Feeling proud of himself, closes the window and hands out his business card to the other two in the cabin, reading “Best swordsman in France”. The Englishman, not wanting to be outdone by the Frenchman opens the window, and another fly co…

How do you call the slums in France? Baghetto

Inflight crisis A 747 was on a transatlantic flight. Over the middle of the ocean the lose an engine. The pilot over the PA says don’t worry folks we can fly in 3 engines. About 5 minutes later they lose another engine. The pilot says don’t worry we have jettisoned all the luggage and with the weight reduction we can make land. Soon a third engine conks out. They throw out anything they can. The pilot says we have gotten rid of all the excess eight and we can make land if we reduce another 600…

German visits France A german tourist decided to visit France shortly after the war. The french immigration officer asked the tourist, "Occupation?" The german replied "Nah, just visiting"

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? There was de-brie everywhere

I'm sick and tired of my Bonnie Tyler satnav. It keeps telling me to turn around, it got me lost in France, and every now and then it falls apart.