France Jokes

A boy is studying for his geography quiz His mom asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?" "Berlin", says the boy. "What is the capital of France?" "Berlin." "What is the capital of Russia?" "Berlin." "You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."

My daughter told me to treat her like a princess... so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France.

I don't see what's so offensive about calling someone from Pakistan a Paki... It's like calling someone from Scotland a Scot, an Australian an Aussie or someone from France a cunt

France and Italy go to war. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides

..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american" Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland* he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*

What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese.

How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?,"Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.

What's the similarity between Princess Diana and Ferrero Rocher?,"They both come out of France in a box. It's not even good and it's not even accurate. From Anthony Horowitz's 'The Killing Joke' a really weird book.

France and Italy Go to War. Who Wins?,"Neither. France Surrenders and Italy Changes Sides.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world? Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.

Why did the Tour de France get raided? The police heard it was full of pedal-philes.

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Did you hear about the linoleum factory in France that exploded? The locals call it Linoleum Blown-apart.

Who is the most famous cow in France? Albert Camoo

Why should you never order the eggs while in France? Because they are always œuf.

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?? There was nothing left but de Brie.

What do you get when you cross France and Britain? Canada.

Why do they eat snails in France? They don't like fastfood

Did you hear that France changed their flag? It is now just White

Who won the Tour de France in 1940? the Sixth German Panzer Division

What do you call a grenade thrown into a restaurant in France? French Toast.

What do you tell someone from Moscow if he's in a hurry? Q: What do you tell someone from Moscow who is in a hurry? A: Quit Russian. Q: What do you call a Mexican pessimist? A: A Mexican't Q: What do you call a German who is urinating in an alley? A: A you're a peein'. Q: What does an Asian person have if their leg joints are socially awkward? A: Shy knees. Q: What is a Parisian country cover band's favorite song to play? A: "I've got France in low places."

Did you hear about the tourist who visited France? He went to Paris and saw an Eiffel

How many Frenchman does it take to defend France? I don't know. They've never tried.