France Jokes

The Queen of France is asked by her chef what she would like her and the rest of the court to eat for dinner "I would like to eat cheese", she said. "Which kind of cheese?", asked the chef? "I would like soft French cheese with garlic and herbs", replied the queen. "And there is one more thing I must insist on". "Anything my Queen. What is it?", replied the chef. "It is very important that I do not eat from the same piece of cheese as the rest of court.", said the Queen. "Oh I see how it …

French sense of humor So me (not a German, but was living in Germany those days) and a colleague (who is French and lives in France too) were "on-site" in Austria visiting a customer. After the work day was over we went to a nearby farmer's market just for a stroll. We saw some lovely and cheap lemons there and I wanted to buy some but didn't have a bag on me. When I mentioned this to my french colleague, he pulled out a big white handkerchief from his pocket and offered that we could bundle up…

Mother Flying home from France on a recent trip I noticed a rather haggard looking mom walking into the customs area with eight children-- all under age 10. Collecting their many suitcases, the nine of them entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched the large entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, ''do all these children and this luggage belong to you?'' ''Yes, sir,'' the lady said with a sigh, ''they're all mine.'' The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'a…

After watching the Tour de France for several years running, a guy decides that he's going to get into cycling. So he buys himself a brand new road bike, and sets out for his first long ride. He's pretty fit, and takes a long route over several hills. But on his way back, he finds that he's just too tired to continue, and just can't make it back up over those hills. He decides to try to catch a ride back, but traffic is light, and nobody stops. Finally a guy in a Porsche pulls over and agre…

A cheese factory in France exploded Da brie was everywhere!

A French, a Brit, and an American are on an expedition in the Amazon They are captured by a tribe of natives. The chief says to them, "you must die for intruding our land. But it is our custom to allow you to choose your own death." After some time, the Frenchman says, "my great grandfather died by sword while fighting for France, I shall do the same to honor him." He takes a sword and impales himself. The natives take him away, skin him, and turn him into a canoe. The Brit says, "my father …

Social experiment Social researchers from Oxford devised an experiment to place three men from diverse cultures on an otherwise deserted island. They decided on one man from France, one from Germany, and one from Japan. The German was told he is in charge of shelter, the Frenchman was put in charge of meals, and the Japanese was told he was in charge of supplies. The three were left alone on the island for 6 month. When the researchers returned, the German greeted them and showed the around t…

A German visits France and is stopped at immigration. The French immigration agent asks, "Business or pleasure?" The German replies, "Pleasure!" The agent asks, "Occupation?" The German replies, "Nein, Nein, just visiting!"

I wish everyone would lay off Lance Armstrong. What an amazing achievement to recover from testicular cancer and win the tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care he used drugs.... when I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike.

A cheese factory exploded in France It Blue Cheese everywhere

A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are on a a plan when the plane's engines fail and it starts to go down. The pilot grabs one of the parachutes and jumps from the plane. The remaining passengers see that there is only one chute left, and quickly do the math. The Englishman stands up, straightens his tie, says "God save the Queen!" and jumps from the plane. The Frenchman, not wanting to be seen as less noble than the Englishman, says "Vive la France!" and jumps to his de…

I went to a haunted bed and breakfast in France. I left. The place was giving me the crepes.

Do you know why the French eat just one egg for breakfast? Because in France, one egg is *un ouef*

A German got pulled over by the police in France French Police officer: ""Name?"

Who won the first “Tour de France”? The 7th Panzer Division

A German is visiting France. The border patrol officer asks

Who really won the Tour de France? Germany's 7th Panzer Division

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

A German man visiting France He's stopped at customs. The officer asks him

Why does France have so many rivers? Because water follows the path of least resistance.

I bought the new Call of Duty WWII in France. But for some reason

Hitler goes to France As he reaches the immigration desk

Did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France? They were actually cooked in Greece.

What happened when I jumped off a famous building in France? Eiffel

A German is traveling to France A German is traveling to France and is going through passport control. The agent asks the German