An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are walking along... ...and the American is getting bored. Suddenly, he pulls out a bottle of bourbon, cracks it open, takes a swig, tosses the bottle up in the air, pulls out a gun, and blasts it into smithereens. The Canadian is shocked. ""What the hell?!"" he asks. ""You just wasted some perfectly good booze!"" The American shrugs. ""We've got plenty of bourbon down south."" The Frenchman, not to be outdone, produces a bottle of Champagne. He removes t…

At the 2014 World Women's conference At the 2014 World Womens conference, the first speaker from Canada, stood up ""At last years conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband I would no longer cook for him, and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing change. After the second day I saw nothing change. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb"". The crowd st…

My girlfriend's response to a lesbian joke that I told her Years ago I told my girlfriend a joke, it went something like this: Me: Did you hear about the French lesbian who went back home to France? Her: (Shakes her head no) Me: She missed her native tongue. After I said the punchline, she didn't get it, just sat there and looked at me straight-faced, trying to make sense of it, finally she blurts out, "They have natives in France?"

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV. Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day after day, week after week. No matter if it's oicy, rainin?, snowin?, hailin? .. .. .. why would they torture themselves like that?" "Tis all for the prestige and the money," replied Mick, "You know the winner gets about a half a million Euros? "Yeah,…