My girlfriend's response to a lesbian joke that I told her Years ago I told my girlfriend a joke, it went something like this: Me: Did you hear about the French lesbian who went back home to France? Her: (Shakes her head no) Me: She missed her native tongue. After I said the punchline, she didn't get it, just sat there and looked at me straight-faced, trying to make sense of it, finally she blurts out, "They have natives in France?"

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV. Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day after day, week after week. No matter if it's oicy, rainin?, snowin?, hailin? .. .. .. why would they torture themselves like that?" "Tis all for the prestige and the money," replied Mick, "You know the winner gets about a half a million Euros? "Yeah,…

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is …

"The child returned to the sun" Around 1250, a merchant leaves France for a 2 years trip to the middle-east. When he comes back, his unfaithful wife had a son with a handsome young man of the city. Upon coming back home, the merchant sees the baby, who is obviously too young to be his own. He asks his wife: "My dear wife, please tell me whose son is this ? -Dear husband, last winter, during a snowy day, as I was wandering, sad and crying because you were absent, I looked up in the sky in praye…