Politics Jokes

How cold is it outside? It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust... I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party.

A reality TV mogul, a woman, and a Jew are running for president... And that's just the front runners!

I've got good news and bad news: the bad news is that it's either trump or Hillary for president... The good news is that by 2020 America will be in ruins and Kanye will never get a chance to run.

Easy Guide to the 2016 Presidential Election 1.If you don't know anything about politics: Vote for Donald Trump! 2.If you don't know anything about ethics: Vote for Hillary Clinton! 3.If you don't know anything about economics: Vote for Bernie Sanders!

Donald trump The last American president was black, polls suggest that the next president will be Donald trump..... Huh. I guess orange is the new black

An actual quote by President George Bush ""The problem with the french is that they don't have a word for entrepreneurs""

Typical Kanye West If Kanye West would become a president wouldn't we all be living in Wild West?

[Politics] A Cuban Refugee, A Canadian Immigrant, A Texas Separatist, A obstructionist politician, A Christian Extremist and A white Supremacist walk into a bar The tender say, what'll be Senator Cruz?

Ronald McDonald runs for president. His slogan? Make America's Weight A Gain.

The president of United States converses with a retired veteran Veteran : You know, mr. president, when I was combatting in the Middle East I once killed 3 enemies single handedly while being shot in my chest. President : Syriasly? What happened afterwards? Veteran : Iran.

If Donald Trump is elected President, it would be more appropriate if we change the eagle on the Great Seal of the United States... to a hummingbird. Because hummingbird is the only species of bird that can fly backward, signifying the country's backward progression. P.S. Got the idea from the Coats of Arms of Australia.

Donald Trump was asked about the FDA's recent discovery that most parmesan cheese sold in america has high levels of cellulose... He says that if elected president one of the first things he'll do is ban all forms of powdered cheese, because this would make America grate again.

I once saw a headstone that read ""here lies a politician and an honest man."" I wonder how they fit two people in one casket.

Trump for President 2016 Right, guys?

Donald trump wants to run for president, Why not? Wouldn't be the first time he's pushed a black family out of their home. (Snoop Dogg - /u/Here_Comes_The_King )

Trump for President.. or not What is Donald Trump telling Barack Obama supporters? Orange Is The New Black

What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.? Between a politician and a news camera.

horror story in 4 words good morning, president trump.

Why is Trump going to lose the election? Because he's simply not very good with races

Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year? He's Biden his time.

I really hope Trump gets elected... Since i've never seen a president get assassinated before.

How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye.

An Indian man walks into a NYC bank and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India for some business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5000 The loan officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan. So the Indian man hands over the keys and the documents to his new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. The loan officer consults the president of the bank, and everything checks out to be OK. The loan officer agrees to acce…

Donald Trump could very well be our next President. Laugh, because it's a joke, guys. Guys? Guys! ...It's not funny anymore...