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A man walked into a bar with a riddle to tell... And he slapped down a dollar and a quarter. The bartender went to fill him a glass of beer and passed it over. The man took it and downed half of it. When he set it down, he asked the bartender, ""If a green man lives in the green house, and the red man lives in the red house, and the blue man lives the blue house, then who lives in the white house?"" The bartender already knew the correct answer, but decided to play along. Facing him, he tells hi

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Dear Abby, My husband hasn't worked for the last 14 years. All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies. I know he's cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his granddaughters. I know this because he brags about this to me. He smokes fancy cigars and drinks the most expensive Champagne day and night. We sleep in separate beds because he's telling me he knows I'm a lesbian and my varicose veins and fat behind turns him off. Should I clobbe

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So There's This Bumble Bee [LONG] He lives in a hive that is looking for a new leader. He works day and night to become the new leader of this hive. Unfortunately the role as leader goes to this bumble bee that was just popular but never did anything. So our bumble bee decides to leave the hive He decides he wants to go to school. He enrolls in school and graduates with a 4.0 GPA and goes on to Harvard university. He graduates Harvard with another 4.0 GPA and is 1st in his class rank. Our bee de

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A German guy, an Italian guy, and a Chinese guy are playing golf... Around the 5th hole, this strange ringing goes off and the German guy starts speaking into his hand. The Italian guy and the Chinese guy are both wondering, ""what the f*ck is this guy doing?"" The German guy explains, ""It's totally awesome! My government made a phone that fits inside of your hand! I have a speaker in my thumb and a mic imbedded in my pinky! It's totally rad!"" The other guys were astonished, ""That's amazing!"

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Prince passed away today, here's a joke inspired by him. RIP Prince! A company, Sun Microsystems, invented a programming language called Java. They filed copyright for this word and they now own the word Java. Sun's lawyers quickly decided to sue the Island of Java's government for copyright infringement. That's right, Sun says that the name of a country is infringing on their copyright! The case went to court, the battle was long and hard but in the end, Sun Microsystems lawyers won the case. T

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