The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave

Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children

The Engineer Towards the end of the French revolution many people lost their heads to the guillotine. One day a politician, a priest, and an engineer were to be executed. The politician was first. The executioner asked him: ""Do you have any last words?"" to which the man replied, ""I regret nothing."" The executioner lowered the man's head into the guillotine and released the blade. It fell swiftly but suddenly jams and stopped just inches from reaching the politician's neck. There was a rule w…

While walking down the street one day, a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies... His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. ""Welcome to heaven,"" says St. Peter. ""Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."" ""No problem, just let me in,"" says the man. ""Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hel…