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A Concerned Chinese General One day, Fang Changlong became nervous about the location of China's navy ships. He voiced this concern to the president, Xi Jinping, and said, ""I'm worried about our ships in the south. There's a path that's too narrow, and may lead to the destruction of our fleet, if we aren't careful."" Xi understood his reasoning, but felt confident in his men nonetheless. He responded, ""It might be a challenge to fit all through, but they will be fine."" Still unsure, Changlong

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Dear Abbie Clueless: Dear Abbie, I don't know what to do about my husband. We have been married for more than 40 years. He's cheated on me many times and doesn't even try to hide it. He's been unemployed for 14 years, hasn't found another job, and wastes his time with his friends daily. Ever since our daughter went away to college, he doesn't even pretend to like me. He even hinted that I was a lesbian! I don't know what to do. Please help. - Clueless Dear Abbie: Dear Clueless, Dump your worthle

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So an Evangelical Republican Senator goes in for a prostate exam... The doctor gives him a clean bill of health, and sends him on his way. He returns a week later to get a second opinion. Another doctor confirms the first's findings. He comes back for a *third* rectal examination, swearing something is amiss, only to once again be given a clean bill of health. On the way out, the attending nurse says, ""I have to ask: Every doctor tells you you're fine. What are you worried about?"" ""Oh, it's n

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Dear Abby Dear Abby My husband hasn't worked in 14 years. All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies. He's cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his grand daughters. I know because he brags about it. He smokes fancy cigars and drinks expensive Champagne day and night. We sleep in separate beds because he`s always telling me he knows I`m a lesbian and my varicose veins and ugly face turn him off! Should I clobber him with my frying

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