Politics Jokes

The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes.

did you hear that a former US president bought out a convenience store chain? Bush did 7/11

Who doesn't like a blonde joke? A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's pr…

I hope Donald Trump becomes president. That way we can impeach him and all of USA can tell him ""you're fired"".

Did you hear how Mexico announced it's solving their country's housing crisis? The Mexican government has decided to build apartment

I once met a Republican feminist She told me to Czech my privilege.

What does the government and pedophiles have in common? They defile private things.

I only got one match, but I can make an explosion. And now the government thinks I'm a terrorist.

President Reagan and his wife were at a state dinner and the waiter asked her what she wanted for her entree. She said, ""I'll have the chicken"". The waiter asked, ""what about the vegetable?"" She replied, ""He'll have the beef""

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, ""Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."" The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, ""You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude. "…

Trump: We're going to build a wall, and let people, in... Trump: ....but legally. They built the Great Wall. Here we need a 1000. We can do a wall, we can have a big fat door in the middle, but they are coming in legally. Mexico is going to pay for it. A politician cannot get them to pay, I can.

What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election? They though it was Riel funny!

A few years after he became an ex-President, Bill and Hilary are driving around Arkansas and stop for gas. The guy operating the pump is about their age. When it's done and they're driving away, Hilary chuckles and says ""The guy at the gas station? My mom wanted me to marry him."" Bill gives her a big grin and says ""Can you imagine where you'd be now, if you'd married him instead of me?"" She gives him a cold stare and says ""Yeah, I'd be driving around with an former President of the United S…

If you push George W Bush into a vat of concrete. It would set a very bad president.

If the opposite of pro is con... Wouldn't the opposite of progress be the congress?

This is BUSINESS Dad: I want to Mary a girl of my choice. Son: No! Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter. ...Son: Then okay. Dad goes to Bill Gates. ...Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son. Bill Gates: No! Dad: My son is the CEO of World Bank. Bill Gates: Then Okay. Dad goes to the President of the Word Bank. Dad: Appoint my son as CEO. President: No! Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates. President: Then OK. This is BUSINESS

Apparently the norwegian government pays for you to hire convicts I guess there are some pro's to hirin a con.

Stephen Harper lost the Canadian election. He was given aboot.

Bad News I heard that the Italian Government is joining forces with ISIS thus changing their name to Italian ISIS Tommy G

Stephen Hawing running for president Just kidding.....he can't run

Government workers... An old man sits on a bench relaxing and notices two government workers in the distance. He sees the first guy digging a hole and a few minutes later, the second starts covering the hole. Finding this quite peculiar he continues watching them digging and covering until they reach him. Curious he asks: ""What are you guys doing?"" One of them replies: ""See, we are normally a team of three, but the guy who plants the trees didn't show up today.""

New drinking game: Every time Senator Bernie Sanders proposes something free, chug someone else's beer.

Senator Clinton what is your favorite flavor of pie Well the Republicans........... Edit: Secretary

How did George W Bush use reggae to win his election? He needed an Al Gore riddim.

What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife? Who are you?