Politics Jokes

Did you see the President of Russia doing magic tricks outside? He was really Putin on a show

I'm not racist I have a black president.

So Donald Trump wants to be president and move into the white house. Why not? It wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home.     *credits to Snoop Dogg @ Donald Trump roast*

President Bush is sitting in a Cabinet meeting... One of his intelligence officers enters and tells him, ""Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."" The President exclaims, ""Oh my God!"" and buries his head in his hands. The entire Cabinet is shocked. The President receives reports like this on a daily basis, and doesn't flinch. Just then, Bush looks up and says, ""How many is a Brazilian?!""

So what's Robin Hood up to these days? He changed his name to 'Bernie Sanders' and is now running for president.

Soviet Russia In Soviet Russia you no criticize government, government criticize you

Doesn't the president pardon a Turkish jet every thanksgiving?

Have you heard about President Clinton's plan to secretly bomb eastern Ukraine? He called it the ""Donetsk, Don't Tell""

When she moans ""deeper"", but... you've run out of government secrets.

What do you call a president crossing the road? A presidestrian

Stalin's General Assembly Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. ""Who sneezed?"" Silence. ""First row! On your feet! Shoot them!"" They are shot, and he asks again, ""Who sneezed, Comrades?"" No answer. ""Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!"" They are shot too. ""Well, who sneezed?"" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, ""It was me! Me!"" Stalin looks at them and says, ""Bless you, Comrade!

Back in the early nineties, the Byrds lost two of their original band members. Gene Clark (tambourine and vocals) and Michael Clarke (drums) died in 1991 and 1993, respectively. Not a lot of people know this, but shortly after finishing his term as our 41st president, George H. W. Bush actually joined the Byrds during a special memorial concert held in Florida, near the home of the late drummer. At the risk of seeming disrespectful, he KILLED IT. The former president managed to play drums, sing,…

Bush did NOT do 9/11 EDIT: Last edited by President George Bush, 2002

In Defense of James Buchanan: Rehabilitating an American President (lol no)

If Trump Becomes President the rates of people getting fired per day will increase exponentially.

A Muslim, a Communist and a black man walk into a bar. The bartender says: ""Welcome, President Obama!""

Saudi Arabia about the paris attacks- Lol Saudi Arabia: The ""heinous"" Paris attacks are a violation of all religions and underline the need to intensify efforts against ""terrorism,"" Saudi Arabia's foreign minister said Saturday. ""I wanted to express our condolences to the government and people of France for the heinous terrorist attacks that took place yesterday which are in violation and contravention of all ethics, morals and religions,"" Adel al-Jubeir told reporters in Vienna. ""The kin…

I'm starting a Tautology Club, but need to describe it to the people joining. The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club. The second rule of Tautology Club is that the the first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club. Tautology Club meets on the day of the Tautology Club meetings. Tautology Club meetings are at the place of the Tautology Club meetings. If you cannot come to a Tautology Club meeting, then you will be unable to attend. When you do atte…

Bill said to hillary One day bill said to Hillary "" Is the reason you want to be president to sleep with an intern for revenge."" To which Hillary replied "" I guess that depends what the meaning of is is""

President George W. Bush was once informed that 4 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. He responded, ""How many is a brazilian?""

A man from Moscow decides to move to a new collective farm in Siberia. His family is excited at the possibility of leaving their cramped flat in the city for a nice country house, but they have heard mixed things about the new Siberian farms so the man agrees to go on his own first, and write back to let them know if they should follow him or not. They know the government censors will read the letter, so they agree in advance to use a simple code: anything written in blue ink is true, but anythi…

A republican posts in /r/politics...

Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don't doubt him... People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I'm *talkin* about.

Barrack Obama won the Olympic Gold Medal Usain Bolt was running for President

Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, ""Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in…