A joke my russian friend told... So stalin was giving a speech to a few hundred thousand soldiers... One soldier then sneezes in the middle of stalin's speech. Stalin stops, looks around and asks: ""who sneezed?"" there was no answer.... he asks again and sure enough no one answered - Stalin is now pissed, he doesn't like being ignored so he gets the first row executed. He asks again, and no one answers... ""execute the second row"" and BAM the second row is dead! He asks again... then a little …

WWII era Soviet joke In the middle of Stalin's war council Marshall Zhukov storms out of the room, muttering ""The moustached tyrant went utterly batshit"" to himself. Head of NKVD Lavrentiy Beria hears him and immediately repeats what he heard to Stalin. Stalin calls Zhukov back and asks who did he mean. ""Hitler, of course."" ""And who did **you** think he meant, comrade Beria?""

My Favorite Stalin Joke Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, "It was me! Me!" Stalin says, "Bless you, Comrade!"

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors.