What are the first few things Donald Trump will do as President * Turn the White House lawn into a expensive golf course for rent * Build a huge wall around the White House and make the visitors pay for it * Pass an executive action to cancel the 2008/2012 election alleging that Obama was not born in this country what else?

Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: ""Nice pigs, Sir."" The President replies: ""These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Senator Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi."" The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: ""Excellent trade, sir.""

President Trump bumped into Mike Pence in a White House hallway this morning... Trump said ""Pardon me.""

What did the White House staff do when President Trump broke the fax machine? They replaced it with an alternative fax machine.