Politics Jokes

I'm officially starting my campaign next election And my slogan will be ""Hindsight 2020""

Well if Trump is a bad president, hopefully by the next election... We'll have 2020 hindsight

As a Hilary supporter in Colorado, I'm still happy with the outcome of the election. Since proposition 106 passed I can legally kill myself now that trump won.

Woohoo! Donald Trump won the presidential election! As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "" I am Steph Curry , the best NBA basketball player. The warriors and my millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die"" So he took the 1st pack and left the plane The 2nd passenger , Donald Trump , said , "" I am the newly elected US President , and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die."" He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the…

If I had a penny for every Trump joke made during the election... I could be the president in 2020

Glad marijuana is being legalized. It sure helps coping with the election results.

Honestly, I'm just amazed he managed to pull it off. When he first ran for president, nobody thought he could do it. When he started gaining in the polls, we all ""knew"" how it would end. But he showed us we were all wrong. Congratulations to Barack Obama going eight years without being shot.

No wonder hell finally froze over for the Cubs... ...because the devil left to be President

How did Trump win? ""Hillary Clinton"" and ""Donald Trump"" go into a bakery. Hillary Clinton steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald Trump ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. Donald Trump: ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."" Donald Trump goes to the owner …

A farmer dies and goes to hell While down there the Devil notices that the farmer is not suffering like the rest. He checks the gauges and sees that it's 90 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the farmer and asks why he's so happy. The farmer says, ""I like it here. The temperature is just like plowing my fields in June."" The Devil isn't happy with the farmer's answer and decides to get him, so he goes over and turns up the temperature to 100 degrees and the humidity to 90%. Afte…

Immigrants after Trump's election be like... [removed]

I've got an idea for who should run for President next... Hindsight, 2020.

Why couldn't Hillary rig the election like she rigged the DNC? She deleted that email.

The onion family (A colleague just told me this yesterday, and I remembered Christopher Hitchens telling his version on a CSPAN stand-up several years ago during an election so I searched and it's here if anyone is interested.) A mother, father and daughter onion are out for a walk. They get to the streetlight at an intersection and as the walk sign lights up, they begin to cross but a careless driver catches the daughter onion and she rolls to the side of the road, horribly injured. She is rush…

Dave has an awesome job Dave was commissioned to drive the Pope to the airport within the hour. Unfortunately, being a new driver, he got lost. ""It's all right, my son. I used to drive these streets in my youth. We'll get there in time."" The Pope took the wheel with Dave sitting in the back seat. He drove like an expert, taking sharp turns easily. The Pope, not wanting to be late for his flight, didn't realize how fast he was going. Soon the red and blue lights flashed behind him. ""It will be…

Obama is the epitome of why Americans are so racist Just another soon-to-be unemployed black man, evicted from his house, and living on government money.

Wow, the last couple of elections have been great! We had a white president, then a black president, and now an orange one.

Now that Donald Trump will be President, I really hope he builds the wall. We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained.

I've got a joke. The U.S. election system.

I would like to thank President Donald Trump on behalf of my wife... suddenly the thousands I invested into Canadian dating sites wasn't so worthless after all.

What does the day of election and Taco Tuesday have in common? So much shit is going down today.

Trump is President. Yes, President Trump.

Congratulations, Mr. Trump You'll be the first president to declare bankruptcy on the country.

TFW you wake up and Trump is elected president Going back to sleep now.