NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...

Bill and Hillary are sitting in a limo. As they are in the middle nowhere the driver tells them that they need to refuel. Seeing as there is only a single gas station for miles around the secret service race ahead to secure the location. When the Clinton's arrive they are greeted by the lone gas attendant. Hillary notices him and chuckles a bit as she explains to Bill that he was an old boyfriend of hers. Bill puts on a big grin and says ""Well aren't you glad you married me"". ""Not really"" Hi…

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty! Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume. I am sicking and entry-level position. It's best for employers that I not work with people. Here are my qualifications for you to overlook. I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated. If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in…

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, since the politician was delayed, the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my conf…