Politics Jokes

Looks like we set back the clock twice this week... First on Sunday, then on election night.

I wish Gene Wilder was still alive today... He'd probably be ecstatic knowing one of his oompa loompa's grew up to be president :')

After winning the election, Donald Trump has already started with his racist agenda... He's already kicking a black family out of their own home.

Hillary Clinton says to the Devil, ""What happened? You promised me that I'd win the election?"" The Devil replies, ""Yeah, and you promised me a soul.""

""You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"" ""Mister President, we've been over this...""

I can't complain My politically passionate friend was going on a rant about Trump's election. He was absolutely livid, and asked me what I thought. ""I can't complain,"" I said, nonchalantly. Incredulous, my friend shouted, ""How can you possibly be so cool about this? We just elected a misogynist to the white house and our state (Wisconsin) helped do it. How can you just say you can't complain."" I respond: ""No you misunderstood. I didn't vote, so I can't complain.""

If the President rides equestrian without a saddle, what do you call the animal he's on? Bare Horse One.

""You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"" ""Mister President, we've been over this..."" ---------------------------------- All credit to /u/Romobyl Found in the comments on r/ThatHappened

The 5 stages of Election Day The 5 stages of presidential election ending. 1) Denial(while results are being tallied) - this isn't happening. No this can't be. 2) Anger (after the results are in) - the words described are not repeatable and may not be suitable for young children. 3) Bargaining (a few hours after the result) - please let us try again. The votes were not counted correctly. Please count them again. I'll do anything. 4) Depression (a few hours after bargaining) - our country was a g…

Why did Donald Trump win Florida in the Presidential Election? Floridians have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the economy.

United States once again votes for a minority President! Donald J Trump is believed to be the first orange President to be elected in the history of the United States.

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.

Trump did great, but... ...imagine how much he would have won by if Clinton hadn't rigged the election.

Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange... I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

Trump will be President until 2020 It would have been 20:15, but the sniper got stuck in traffic...

Not sure if this is the right place to post, but after the US election results from last night, I need help creating a new dating website. It will help desperate American men and women find love in Canada. It'll be called ehHarmony

How did US felt when Trump is elected as the president? TRUMPmatized. (Traumatized, ^get^it?^ha^ha^kill^me^please )

My dad's the real winner of this election... He passed away last week.

A child tells the make a wish foundation. So a child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks ""what do you want more than anything"" the child responds ""to trade places with Donald trump!"" They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day. So they ask trump, he obliges. Trump meets the child and says ""so you want to know what it's like to be president?"" The child retorts ""no I just wanted you to have cancer""

Jimmy Fallon NASA said this week it has received a record high number of 18,000 applications for their astronaut training program. NASA said it shows a growing interest in space exploration. Then people said, ""Nah, we just wanna get off the planet before this election.

And the winner of the 2016 presidential election is Hillary! - Steve Harvey

With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!

If you need a distraction from the election there is a new American reality TV series starting soon. It's called The White House. Apparently the lead actor has been given a 4 season contract.

Welcome to the first annual hunger games America. Thank you to all the married cousins that voted for president snow.

[LPT request] how to wake up from a bad dream. Wait. What do you mean he's really president?