Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running. 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. 6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work. 5. Mumbled, ""Oh, puh-leeez"" 95 times during the movie ""The Net"" 4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments. 3. Video dating profile lists ""public-key encryption"" among turn-ons…

Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.

The Canadian election consists of two men apologizing till one concedes, the winner is then elected king of Canada. Or something like that.