Politics Jokes

If it's illegal for clowns to walk around town... Then why can they run for president?

If Trump wins the election ... What will the presidential candidate for the next election choose as his/her campaign motto? ""Make America good again.""

This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby. When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.

Man this clown thing is really getting out of control there are even 2 clowns running for president .

After the invention of digital watches, the Swiss were in quite a bind... Faced with what seemed like an existential threat to their national watch manufacturers, the Swiss Government send out pamphlets to foreign and domestic watch owners, asking them to sign up if they were interested in buying mechanical watches as gifts or fashion statements. Unfortunately, no one signed up. The Swiss were mystified, until they realized their mistake: No one wants to be on a government watch list.

A politician is walking down the street when he is suddenly attacked. The assailant says ""give me all your money."" The politician says ""do you know who I am? I'm an important government official."" The mugger says, ""fine, give me all my money.""

The scariest punchline to a long-running joke: ""Welcome to the Oval Office, President Trump!""

A local restaurant is having an election special... You get two small breasts, two fat thighs, and one left wing. Side-note: don't like Trump either don't obliterate me.

A horse walks into a bar in Area 51 and the bartender asks [punchline has been deleted by the American Government]

What do you call a corrupt lawyer? Senator.

Maraijuana Inspector A DEA inspector is visiting a farm in Colorado. He introduces himself to the farmer and says ""I am here to inspect your farm for maraijuana cultivation"". The farmer say ""sure you can look around, just DON'T GO to the farm behind the BARN."" The inspector is FURIOUS, whips out his badge and shoves it in the farmers face, "" YOU SEE THIS? THIS is the seal of the US GOVERNMENT, I can DO whatever I want, INSPECT whichever farm I want."" The farmer is ""OK, sorry to bother you…

What's the difference between a diaper and a politician? When a diaper is full of shit, it gets discarded. When a politician is full of shit, it runs for president.

Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleavies.

To silence her critics who hail her as Satan, Hillary is set to launch a new post-apocalyptical video game after winning the election! It's called President Evil.

Is your refrigerator running? Good, then I'm voting for IT for president!

Halloween election Year 2026: ""Dad, tell me a spooky halloween story."" ""Once upon a time there was an old man who wore a jack-o-lantern over his head so he would always be frowning to express that he never made enough money to satisfy his greed. Everyone made jokes about how he looked like an orange smurf with fake hair. He did not care. He liked the color orange bigly. One day he was attending a golf match and noticed a beautiful woman at the clubhouse. He cornered her, pressed his lips agai…

Donald and Hillary Go Into A Bakery... Donald and Hillary go into a bakery while on the campaign trail. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to The Donald: ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything, and I don't even need to lie. I will definitely win the election"". The Donald says to Hillary: ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life it's all trickery and deceit. Now I am going to s…

Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election. If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.

The Browns' New QB The head coach of the Browns is looking for a new QB when he sees news footage of a man in Afghanistan. This man is fighting the Taliban and in the space of a few seconds, the coach sees him burst through a wooden barricade, knock down 10 armed soldiers, run 100 yards in 10 seconds, pick up a grenade laying on the ground, and throw it through an open window of an armored vehicle driving 75 yards away at 60 miles an hour, blowing it up and saving his village. The coach gets on …

The Election was tied.... The US Presidential election of 2016 had been over for weeks. Every single ballot had been counted and tabulated, the Electoral College had cast their votes, and after every avenue had been exhausted, it was unequivocally a dead heat. Both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton turned to the Supreme Court for a decision, agreeing to abide by the ruling for the good of the Country, Mom, and Apple Pie. After due deliberation, Justice Ginsburg, the Notorious RBG, spoke for the C…

Trump and Hillary go skiing Trump and Hillary decide to go skiing to decide who will win the presidency. It is decided that whoever reaches the bottom of the hill fastest will be the next president. However, as Hillary reaches the halfway point the ski lift above the slope breaks and chops her head clean off. Her head then rolls down the rest of the slope into a pile of ski equipment. I guess you could say ""she is a head in the poles!""

Sort of racist joke (sorry) Why will Hilary win the election? Because only the white people that didn't go to college will vote for Trump. All the other people that didn't go to college will vote for Hillary.

Why is Hillary running for president? Because it's easier than running from law enforcement

Last term, we had our first black president. But if Donald Trump wins... Orange is the New Black.

The Republican Party has shown its support for the mentally ill by nominating Trump for President! Well, support for at least one of them. (here come the trolls and bots)