Pirate Jokes

Seaman A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies ""I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off"". ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about the hook""? ""Well..."", replied the pirate, ""We were boarding an enemy ship and were bat…

What did the pirate say to his kids when picking them up from school? Get in the carrrrrrrrrrrr!

A couple pirate jokes (Couple good misdirection jokes) You: What's a pirates favorite military branch? Friend:ARRRMY You: No yee dumbass, it's the coast guard. You:What's a pirates favorite letter? Friend:ARRRR You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C) You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant? Friend:ARRRBYS You: No. It's Long John Silver's.

A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says ""Hey do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate says ""Arrr... It's driving me nuts!""

What is a pirate's favorite letter? He'll always like R.... But his true love is the C

I see your pirate joke and raise you a different pirate joke A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants, the bartender looks at him and says ""hey pirate you have a steering wheel in your pants"". The pirate looks at him and says ""Arrrg I know, its drivin' me nuts!""

Pirates. What's a pirate's favorite subject? Arrrrt? Ok, you got that one. What's a pirates favorite animal? An Aarrrrdvark? No, a parrot, you dumbass. What's a pirate's favorite element? Arrrgon? No, gold! What's a pirate's favorite way to get around? A ship? You're an imbecile, it's obviously a car. Do you know how inconvenient -cars- *SHIPS* are in the 21st century?

Which is better Pirate Bay or Pirate Bae? Pirate Bae, because it never goes down.

How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet? Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas.

a pirate walks in to a bar... and he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a missing eye. The bartender asks him how he lost his leg, so the pirate says he lost it fending off a shark. Then the bartender asks how he lost his hand, the pirate said he lost it in a great battle. Then the bartender asks how he lost his eye, the pirate says a seagul pooped in his eye and he wasnt used to the hand yet.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

On a pirate's birthday, I asked him how old he was His response: ""Aye matey""

What's a pirate's favorite letter? (Most people respond, ""Arrr!"") That's what I thought too, but it turns out their hearts belong to the 'C'.

How much does a pirate pay for an ear piercing? A buck an ear

The first mate on a pirate ship sees the captain with a wheel in his pants... The first mate asks why the helm is there and the captain replies, ""Yar, it's drivin' me nuts.""

A pirate walks into a bar And the bartender says, ""hey, you know you have a steering wheel hanging from your zipper?"". The pirate replies,""arrr, I know, it's driving me nuts"".

Restraining order Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate? He kept trying to plunder her booty.

A pirate with a parrot on his shoulder was applying for a job. His resume spoke for itself.

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You would think it's 'R' but it's really the 'C'.

Ghost pirate What did the pirate's ghost say to his girlfriend? I love your Boo-ty

Best man speech jokes for a Halloween wedding? So my mom is getting married tomorrow! The theme is Halloween and all the guests are dressing up. How cool is that!? I am looking to add some jokes to my speech. Reddit always comes through for me, I have faith! I want to start my speech thanking everyone for attending and make some joke referring to how everyone looks or about a Halloween wedding in general. Ideas? I also want to end my speech by welcoming my mother's new husband to the family and …

What do you call an angry pirate? A Pirate (A mix between Pirate and Irate)

Pirate with steering wheel for belt buckle ""Arrr, it's driving me nuts!""

A pirate walks into a bar.... The bartender looks at him and says, 'Sir, you have a steering wheel down your pants.' The pirate replies, 'Arghh, and its driving me nuts.'

Benny and the Urn - A shaggy dog story with a moral. Here's my embellished version of a joke I learned when I was a kid. I swear to god there's no loch ness monster. **Benny and the Urn** Once upon a time a man named Benny was living in ancient Mesopotamia. A miner by trade, one day he discovered a secret cavern filled with jewels, gold, and piled high with priceless artifacts. The floor was covered with golden jars, urns that were formed from solid gold. They were each the size of a man's heart…