Pirate Jokes

Camouflage Whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent, an old pirate captain would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of his crew members asked him what it meant. The pirate captain replied, ""It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."" ""That's very sensible, sir."" At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned. He told the cr…

What is a pirate's favorite material? Arrr-gyle.

What is a pirate's favourite letter? Aye.

What is a Pirate's FAVORITE letter? You'd think it'd be rrrrrrr, but it's the C!!

A Pirate walks into a bar... Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his fly, bartender says, ""Hey, you know you have a steering wheel on the front of your pants?"" Pirate says. ""Arrrrgh, it's driving me nuts!""

What did the Pirate say when he got his firecrackers? Ahoy M-80

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers? Because they were stale, matey!

A pirate walks into a bar... So a little pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pant and orders a drink. The bartender give him the drink but first asks, ""Doesn't that steering wheel bother you? It looks uncomfortable."" The pirate replies ""Argh!! Its driving me nuts!!""

What kind of car does a pirate drive? Toyota YARis

A man visits a monastery. He sleeps in the most comfortable bed he's ever slept in. In the middle of the night he hears a beautiful noise that wakes him up, even from the amazing bed he is laying on. He realises that the noise is coming from a door in the corner of his room. He decides not to get up and goes back to sleep. The next morning he asks a nearby monk what the noise was. ""I'm sorry I can't tell you,"" he replies, ""you're not a monk."" So the man asks the monk, ""What will it take to …

What did the pirate say when he had a steering wheel down his pantaloons? Arr! It's driving me nuts!

What do call you it when a butt pirate calls another butt pirate on the phone? Booty call.

What is a pirate's favorite element? Gold.

Pirate Jokes What's a pirate's favorite country? Arrrmenia (or Arrrrrgentina or Arrrrland) What does a pirate wear when it's raining? A parrrrka What is a pirate's favorite element? Gold. How does a pirate know where he's going? He looks to the staaaarrrrrs. What's a pirates favorite animal? Arrrrmadillo What is a pirate's favorite transportation vehicle? A boat.

A pirate walks into a bar... With a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says, ""hey what's with the steering wheel?"" and the pirate says, ""Arrgghhh.... it drives me nuts.""

What's a pirate's favorite Antivirus? Avast.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R? You'd think that but it's the C.

What's the worst part about running a gay pirate ship? There's always seamen on your poopdeck!

A pirate with two peg legs walks into a bar... The bartender looks up from his newspaper and says ""you're cut off.""

What did the Pirate say on his 80th Birthday? I don't know, but I'm sure someone is gonna repost this

Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy? He kept on and on about his mateys.

Old but gold, Captain Jack Arrow. Jack Arrow was a captain of a pirate ship. He was always chased by danger. As one day, a crew member came up to captain jack and said "" We got an enemy ship approaching us from behind, sir!!!"" Captain Jack, with all confidence, replied ""Bring me my red shirt!"". As the enemy ship boarded Captain Jack's ship, a battle initiated, and it went successfully for Captain Jack's side as not a single crew member of his lost their live. After the battle, the crew membe…

One pirate kicks a second pirate in the knee... The second pirate says ""Arr!! Me knee!"" (meanie)

How does the Pirate watch his movie? He PIRATES them off line. (Or torrents them off Pirates Bay) =)

A pirate come back from sea... He stops at the barber for a trim on his beard. The barber is aghast at the sight of the pirate. Barber : What happened to you??? When you left you were fine but now look at you!! Pirate: Whaddaya mean to say? Barber: You got a wooden leg now, when you left you had both legs... Pirate: Oh this? We were in a ship to ship battle and a cannonball got my leg, but the doc gave me this peg and I'm just fine. Barber: But you have a hook hand now, when you left you had bot…