Toyota Jokes

Do all Toyota Priuses come with Obama '08 stickers already on them?

Just smiled back at a Toyota commercial.

I want to give my ex a great Valentines present to show him how much I still care. I think I'll go all out and buy him a Toyota.

Me: Hey. Nice Honda. Him: It's an Acura. Me: All Asian cars look alike. Him: You're racist. Me: I bet your Toyota is good at math.

Me: oil change plz Toyota: it'll be $39 Me: cool heres my $2 off coupon 4 hrs later T: ur steering wheel fell off total is $2900 sign here

Well. Now I'm beginning to think Toyota is doing this on purpose. Like they're getting back at people for making jokes about Asian drivers.

*drives Toyota Corolla into Mordor* "See, nobody suspected a thing"

i sold all my lizards to buy my girlfriend a Toyota Tundra but she sold her drivers license to buy me a awesome obstacle course for lizards

Two Irish guys walk into a pet shop Seamus heads straight over to the back of the shop, knowing what he's looking for, and Finton follows shortly behind. ""Dats dem up der!"" Says Seamus, pointing at high up bird cage. ""Oi'll tek two a dem budgies up der,"" He says to the shopkeeper, ""an wouldya put em in a pepper bag?"" So they leave the shop, hop in a van parked out side, budgies in hand, and they drive off. They drive to the edge of a cliff with a 700 ft drop. They go over to the edge, wher…

Gambling in Vegas My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went to town in a $20,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche. I thought ""nice, I'm going to get in on that."" So I left for Vegas in my $30,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle. A Greyhound bus.

On a college road trip... In college I joined a student group called Students Against Undergraduates Drinking Irresponsibly (SAUDI for short). As you can probably tell it was committed to reducing the number and severity of alcohol related incidents on campus. After a successful semester some friends from SAUDI and I took a road trip to a nearby beach. On the way there I took a turn at the wheel. After a few minutes I realized that all the other cars on the road were Toyota Centuries. The others…

A jewish man's wife dies So he decides to place an obituary in the newspaper, and phones their agent. ""Just put 'Sarah died' in the paper."" ""But Sir, for the same money of only one line, you can add another four words!"" ""Oh. Let me think about that.."" He phones back a few minutes later and says ""Put in the paper: 'Sarah died. Toyota Corolla for sale' ..""

Scooter Three men die in a car accident. They all go to heaven, and God asks the first one... ""how faithful were you to your wife?"" He says "" I cheated only 4 times."" God says aight. Not bad. You can have a Toyota corolla. Second guy same question, just once on a business trip. God is like ok that's great. Cadillac. Third dude...never...God says rolls royce. Two days later rolls Royce guy sitting on curb in tears. other dudes all like oh shit it's dat Boi wud up? Why u cry? He's replies. I s…

Hey, car guys, I got a joke for you the Toyota Prius.

A man dies and arrives in heaven... ...and finds himself in a short line of men waiting to speak with St. Peter before entering the magnificent gilded gates of heaven. St. Peter addresses them: ""Welcome to Heaven! You were all good people, that is why you are here. But no one is all good, or all bad, and some of our policies reflect this and try to strike a balance. Before you enter heaven, I will be assigning each of you a vehicle based upon your fidelity in your relationship with your wife. W…

I used to drive a Toyota.... .... But then I got a job.

2% of Japanese have cataracts... The rest drive Toyota and Nissan.

Three men died and went to heaven... ... and met St. Peter at the pearly gates, who was explaining a new reward system to the newcomers. Each person who made it to heaven would receive a vehicle, the quality of which would be determined by how faithful they were to their spouses on Earth. The first man had his fair share of adulterous adventures, and he received a 1992 Toyota Corolla. The second man was pretty faithful, but even he was not loyal throughout his entire life, and he received a bran…

An old man calls in to a radio station during a contest... ""Welcome to 99.5 The Lounge, you're on the air. We're currently holding our annual quiz contest; answer any of three questions right, and you'll win $500. You ready?"" ""That I am."" ""All right, let's begin. The first question is... What has four wheels and travels on roads?"" ""That would be a car, right?"" ""Almost, but not quite. The answer we were looking for is 'a Toyota Prius.' You still have two more chances for that $500, so it…

A police officer pulls up to a stop sign with a beaten up Toyota Camry in front of him. The officer comes to a stop and waits, but the Camry refuses to move. The officer waits a minute and begins to get agitated. Finally, the officer gets out of the police car and walks up to the Camry. The window creaks open, and the officer is hit with the overwhelming scent of weed. The officer yells ""What the hell are you waiting for, son?!"" The driver turns to the cop and says ""Sorry, officer, I was wait…

Pink Cottonballs Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Johnny. At first he was a happy, normal boy, but then one day, before his 3rd birthday, his parents asked him what he wanted for his present. ""I want pink cottonballs,"" said Little Johnny. ""No way,"" said his parents, a little concerned by the odd request, ""you're much too young for something like that!"" And so they got him a Big Wheel tricycle. Little Johnny was furious, and so he took the tricycle up to the top of the big hil…

Why does it say TRD on that Toyota truck? Because it's a turd!

What kind of car does a pirate drive? Toyota YARis

Farting Honda A sales rep for an American auto parts supplier was in Tokyo for an important meeting with the chairman of Toyota to close a huge deal. After he got to his hotel, he farted and strangely it sounded like his ass said ""Honda"". Puzzled, he forced out another fart and sure enough it came out ""hooonda"". Needless to say he was freaked out by this. Every time he farted, it came out ""hooonda"". He flipped through the phone book and found an American doctor and rushed over. The doctor …

Pinocchio is being interrogated by police Police Officer: Were you going 60 miles on a 40 mile road? Pinocchio: Noooooooo Police Officer: But didn't an officer flag you down? Pinocchio: Noooooooooooooo Police Officer: Your car is the red Toyota right? Pinocchio: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo Police Officer: Why the long no's?