Tokyo Jokes

My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.

*Godzilla smashing Tokyo & eating people. After destroying an asylum he suddenly dies* 60s cop1: what happened 60s cop2: haha nut allergy

I just Tokyo drifted my shopping cart into the checkout line and now all the moms in this grocery store want to have an affair with me.

Godzilla on his smartphone, googling 'How many carbs does Tokyo have'

My coffee shop in Tokyo hasn't had many customers in the last couple of months... It's ok now though, people are starting to drift in.

Does anyone have any good Tokyo Ghoul puns? I would love if someone would comment some Tokyo Ghoul jokes/puns! Or Attack on Titan... Thx!

Wong ho A California business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling ""Gama Su!, Gama Su!"". Hearing this, the Californian knew he ha…

A man calls his friend with whom he was drinking last night... - Did we drink beer yesterday? - Sure we did. - Did we drink whiskey? - Of curse. - Did we drink rocket fuel? - And this happened... - Did you go to the bathroom? - No??? - And don't go! I am calling you from Tokyo!

What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk? A centipede with a wooden leg! *^^Joke ^^I ^^found ^^in ^^the ^^Tokyo ^^Ghoul ^^tag ^^on ^^Tumblr, ^^my ^^brother ^^loves ^^this ^^one!*

What did Sherwock say to Watsun while vacationing in Tokyo? Well done, old Jap.

Japanese Vacation A japanese man comes home to Tokyo from a trip in Italy. A friend finds him in the street and asks: ""How was the trip? Did you enjoy it?"" He responds: ""I don't know, haven't checked the camera roll yet.""

Farting Honda A sales rep for an American auto parts supplier was in Tokyo for an important meeting with the chairman of Toyota to close a huge deal. After he got to his hotel, he farted and strangely it sounded like his ass said ""Honda"". Puzzled, he forced out another fart and sure enough it came out ""hooonda"". Needless to say he was freaked out by this. Every time he farted, it came out ""hooonda"". He flipped through the phone book and found an American doctor and rushed over. The doctor …

A California business man, while in Japan... for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling ""Gama Su!, Gama Su!"". Hearing this, the Californian knew he had ple…

I think I'm developing a taste for foreign films like Tokyo Drift.

i just received an email telling me i have been selected to participate in a beta test for one of apples new products. Apparently they have been making custom toilets in tokyo for years and want to test the market in north america. So 2-4 weeks from now I'll be sitting on my brand new Ibm.

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26) Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days. Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, ""But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"" Big Catholic news, the Pope recently stated that it is possible for atheists to go to Heaven. However, what he didn't say is once they get there, they have to spend all eternity helping Buddha squeez…

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

An American man travels to Japan on business... ...and on his first night he visits a bar in Tokyo to experience the local nightlife. He meets an enchanting woman, and after several rounds of drinks and flirting, she accompanies him back to his hotel. They commence copulation, and in the throws of passion, the woman screams out "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" The man, pleased with himself for appeasing his lover's desires, finishes and rolls over to sleep. The next morning, he meets a prosp…

Olympics The Olympics start in two weeks, but four year ago they were in Tokyo and Marjorie Taylor Greene were newly elected to Congress. She went with several other GOP Representatives (Darrell Issa and Young Kim) to the games. They were all thinking that since they were in Congress, they could get right into the Olympics, but of course those are tough tickets to come by. They went round back to see if they could sneak in, but there was a guard at the rear entrance which is also where the c…

- “Sarcasm doesn’t get you anywhere.” - “Well, it got me in the Sarcasm World Championship in Tokyo, 1998.” - “Wow, really?” - “No.”

Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo... We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...

What would George Washington say if you told him that in 2017 it's now possible to eat breakfast in Tokyo lunch in Paris

It was announced yesterday that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones. Well

I have decided to write all of my jokes in capitals from now on... This one was written in Tokyo.

An American man travels to Japan on business... ...and on his first night he visits a bar in Tokyo to experience the local nightlife. He meets an enchanting woman