Nissan Jokes

Spoiler alert: Your '97 Nissan Sentra doesn't need one.

My Nissan uncomfortably seats 7 if any group of people wants to take an intimate road trip

The next Fast and the Furious should just be two hours of a guy doing steroids inside of a Nissan Cube.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don't call it Liam then what is even the point of you

"I've turned over a new leaf" ~ me explaining to the nissan salesman that I had an accident on the test drive

Gambling in Vegas My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went to town in a $20,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche. I thought ""nice, I'm going to get in on that."" So I left for Vegas in my $30,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle. A Greyhound bus.

A priest, a little boy, a Rabbi and an imam get into a cute little Nissan car. The little boy says... ... what is this, a Juke?

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan? Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light? Kia stoptima

What is another name for a Nissan Cube? A tool box.

2% of Japanese have cataracts... The rest drive Toyota and Nissan.

2 good 'ol boys Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant. After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, ""If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"" The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about …

How Datsun (now Nissan) got its original name The burgeoning Japanese car company wanted a really good name so they asked the Germans who are known for naming their car companies really well. The president asked a rep from a German marketing company for help. The asked when they needed the final product and the president said, ""One week."" To which the German replied, ""Dat Soon.""

Why Nissan Sunny? Is there Nissan Rainy?

This man knocks on Nelson Mandela's door. The maid opens and sees this guy with a clipboard. "" we have to deliver this truckload of car parts to this address"" he tells her. "" I'm afraid you have the wrong address"" she told him "" this is a private residence"" . With this, the man goes away but within an hour he is back, insisting that directions from the locals all referred to this address. To prove his point, he shows the maid the consignee details on his clipboard "" Nissan main dealer"".

Nissan trucks. What, are you expecting there to be a punch line?

I have just seen a load of dyslexic africans. They were laying flowers at nissan maindealers.

What type of car does a Loch ness monster Drive? A nissan [tree fiddy](http://www.motorstown.com/images/nissan-350-z-coupe-02.jpg)

A Japanese businessman hails a taxi... As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by. "Oooh," exclaims the businessman, "that's a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!" Moments later, another car speeds ahead. "Ahhhhh," exclaims the businessman again, "a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!" Then once more, another car rushes ahead. "Oooooh," exclaims the businessman, "a Mitsubishi! Made in Japan and very fast again!" Then they reach their destination. "Why bi…

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai. The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction. A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei. The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?" "It's hard to say."

What do little sisters love to ride? A nissan.

What does a little sister ride? What does a little sister ride? A Nissan.

What type of car does a Loch ness monster Drive? A nissan

What does a little sister ride? A Nissan.

What do you call a car accident between two Nissan pick-up trucks? Crash of the Titans

Did you hear the one about the man who was run over by a Nissan? He had to pay the altamate price.