Pirate Jokes

I saw a pirate finally purchase Adobe Photoshop. He handed the cashier a hook and a peg.

Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*.

People are always mistaken thinking there is only 1 letter in the pirate dictionary, in actual fact there is 10 Eye eye, argh and the 7 seas

I'm opening up a pirate-themed restaurant. It'll serve breakfast food and beer, and it will be run by the guy who plays Scotty in the new Star Trek movies. It's called Simon Pegg's Eggs, Kegs & Peg Legs.

What do you call a pirate's helicopter? An Eye-patchy helicopter! >>(Apache) . Ill show myself out.

What did the pirate with a wheel in his pants say. Arr, I don't know what it is but it's drivin' me nuts!

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Haha you are adopted. Credit to this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3715bp/one_mans_trash_is_another_mans_treasure_would_be/

What is the pirate's favourite letter? C

I needed to get a treasure hunter's attention so I shouted ""AU!""

A Pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says to the pirate, 'do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?' The pirate says, 'Arrrrrgh! It's drivin' me nuts!'

I met a pirate the other day, whose parrot was saying, ""Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"" I said, ""Shouldn't that be pieces of eight?"" The pirate replied, ""Arrrrr, it's a parroty error.""

Old pirate & his parrot There was an ol' pirate that had a parrot, generally the parrot was very quiet very little talking and no squawking. One day the parrot very loudly kept repeating How's your bum? How's your bum? How's your bum? Finally the pirate gets mad and yells at the parrot SHUT UP!!!! The parrot answers so is mine. Must be the salt water.

What does a pirate take for his allergies? Aye-drops

Arrgh! These be some pirate jokes. Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated Arrrrrgggghhhh What is a pirates favorite letter? Most think it's Arrrrgh but, it is really the Sea(c).

Pirate walks in a bar with his ship's steering wheel stuffed in his pants. The bartender asks do you know that's in your pants? Arrr yes. It's drivin me nuts!

Gimpy Gert was an infamous pirate wench who helped terrorize the Spanish Main for many years through her youth and slightly beyond. From her depredations, she acquired a nice sum of Spanish doubloons, British pounds sterling, gold bullion and jewels. But, alas, her adventures cost her some scars and her left leg below the knee. Gert finally realized that it was time for her to retire, so she relocated to New Orleans and invested her ill-gotten gains in a dance hall. Surprisingly, Gert was a popu…

A pirate captain is on the high seas... A Pirate captain is on the high seas with his crew. Suddenly, his first mate comes running up to him in a panic. ""Captain! Five British warships have been spotted! They are headed directly for us, battle is inevitable."" The captain strokes his grizzled beard and replies, ""Bring me my red shirt!"" The first mate is puzzled but obliges. He returns with the shirt, which the captain puts on. ""Why do you want your red shirt captain?"" ""Because, in the upco…

A pirate made a spoof about his bird. It was Parroty

Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch? Because he had Somalia.

What is a pirate's favorite part of music theory? Arrrr-peggios!

Punny Pirate Puns * Why do novice pirates make terrible singers? Because hey can't hit the high seas. * The designer wondered why his pirate room wasn't perfect, and the judge told him he went a little overboard. * Old pirates retire and grow corn for a buck an ear. * A pirate wrote his wooden leg into his will as a legacy. * The pirate captain's list was to starboard when he failed to ketch his bottle of port which fell onto the poop deck after he nearly keeled over.

Where does an angry pirate get sent? Anchor Management

I'm not witty enough to make the joke but i've got the punchline and opener pretty much set up I just need help with the wording, can someone help me make this a joke? Ok so it is a play on the old Q:""do you know what a pirates favorite letter is?"" A:""ARR(R)"" Q:""well the pirate does like the letter 'r' but his favorite letter is the sea(c)"" I was wondering because everyone knows that ending and is anticipating it we could add another layer, this could be Aye(I). So if the person gives the …

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his pants The bartender asks whats up with the wheel on his pants. The pirate responds with ""Yarr, it's driving me nuts.""

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender looks at him for a second and says ""Alright. I'll ask. What's with the steering wheel?"" The pirate says ""YAR! It be drivin' me nuts!""