Pirate Jokes

What is a pirate? /t

The pirate was pretty tired... He YARwned.

My GF is like my treasure... I buried her in my backyard yesterday.

A little boy with a speech impediment goes trick or treating as a pirate... He gets to the first house and an old lady answers the door. She says, ""Well aren't you cute. Who are you dressed as?"" He replies, ""I'm a birate! I got my barrot, my bword and my batch!"" , pointing to the stuffed parrot on his shoulder, waving his sword and pointing to his eye patch respectively. The old lady throws some candy in his bag and wishes him a good night. He heads to the next house. A man answers. ""Trick …

How does a pirate tip his hat? ""M'Hearty""

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says ""Hey! You know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies: ""ARRR it's drivin' me nuts!""

A pirate walks in a bar. A man notices that he has a wheel attached to his groin. He then asked the pirate , how can you live with that man? The Pirate replies Arrrghh! It drives me nuts!!!

One Man's trash is other man's treasure Said Jereme. But it certainly wasn't the best he could say to his child just after he learnt that he was adopted.

""one Man's trash is other man's treasure"" Isn't the best way to tell your kid that he is adopted. Credits- /u/theone1221

A Pirate walks into a Bar A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his belt buckle. The bartender says ""what's that on your belt buckle?"" Pirate says ""Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!""

I just bought an antique clock with missing hands. I think it's a timeless treasure.

I be a quantum pirate. I'll make ye walk the planck.

Minions.3D.BluRayRiP.4K.aXX0.torrent Talk like a pirate day

A father and son. A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished. Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pi…

A pirate walks into a bar with his ship's steering wheel shoved down his pants. The bartender says, ""hey pirate that's got to be hard to walk with."" Pirate says, ""aye, it be driving me nuts.""

What Does Every Pirate Hate? A small chest with no booty.

A pirate, a chicken and a train enter a bar. ""what can I get you?"" ARR BKAWK CHOO CHOO

Talk Like A Pirate Day Here's my impersonation of a pirate: *ahem* Look at me. Look at me. I'm the captain now.

What's a bear's favorite kind of treasure? Bearied.

Captain Red Shirt Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, ""Bring me my red shirt!"" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle agains…

What's a pirate's favorite digital image format? tARRRRRGa

What is a pirate's favorite letter? C

A pirate captain sees an enemy ship approaching... As the ship gets closer he yells to the deckhand. ""Deckhand, get me me favorite red shirt from the bunkhouse."" The deckhand retrieves the shirt and gives it to the captain. The battle is short-lived, and the captain's crew prevails. A week later, two enemy ships approach. As the ships get closer the captain once again yells to his deckhand, ""Deckhand, get me me favorite red shirt."" The deckhand retrieves the shirt. Though the crew suffers so…

The Captain's Red Shirt Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, ""Bring me my red shirt!"" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle …

Why did the pirate date the mermaid? He thought finding X in her algebra would lead to booty.