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Pirate Jokes

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The Mystery of the Pink Ping Pong Balls. A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, ""Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?"" The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished. Finally, the son said, ""Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like.

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Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is. ""who can sing the Alphabet"" enquires the teacher 'Y'arrrr I can"" says BB Junior ""Ok BB, go ahead"" the teacher encourages BB stands up full of confidence ""A B C C C C C C C D E F..."" ""Stop"" the teacher interrupts ""thats not right BB there is only one C"" BB looks at her as if she's an idiot ""WRONG"" he retorts ""THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*""

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A guy walks into a bar dressed like a pirate... LOL! Can you imagine that? He walks in and everyone looks at him weird cause he's wearing pirate clothes and everyone else is dressed normally. The bartender would probably be like ""Hey... what the hell are you doing? Why are you dressed like a pirate?"" And the pirate would be like ""Uh... maybe BECAUSE I AM A PIRATE!"" Would be very awkward after that. I think that'd be funny though. He'd probably get kicked out....

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A pirates first day It's a pirate's first day on a new ship. While swabbing the deck, he is approached by the captain. The captain is a weathered, veteran sailer and has three of the iconic pirate maladies- a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eyepatch. The new pirate asks the captain how he got the peg leg. ""Arrrr, it were me first day at sea. A great storm came and tossed me overboard. A great fish got me leg, and now I wear the peg"" The new pirate asked the captain how he acquired the hook.

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Seaman and the Pirate A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies, ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about your hook""? ""Well"", replied the pirate, ""We were boardin

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A man walls into a bar... He sees a woman with a duck, a priest, a rabbi, a Muslim, a redneck, an English man, a Scotish man, a Welsh man, an Irish man, a pirate with a parrot on his shoulder, and an orc with a parrot on his shoulder all sitting quietly at their tables, enjoying drinks and polite conversation. The man approached the bartender, and said, ""Unusual crowd tonight, eh?"" The bartender is cleaning a glass with a rag. He nods and says, ""Yeah. You should have been here earlier. Some r

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Captain Jokes Captain: A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt. The captain was asked, ""Why do you need a red shirt?"" The Captain replies, ""So that when I bleed, you guys don't notice and aren's discouraged."" They fight off the pirates eventually. The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, ""Get me my brown pants!""

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