Peg Leg Jokes

So a pirate walks into his favorite restaurant... ...and one of his friends comes up to him. His friend notices that he now has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye-patch, none of which he had before. The pirates friend approaches and says: ""Wow! You look different, where did you get that peg leg?' The pirate responds: ""Oh I was just at a battle at sea, when a cannonball from the enemy ship struck my leg, but the doctor put on the peg leg, now I'm fine. Then the friend asks: ""Well what about the hoo…

A girl with a peg leg goes to her high school dance... And she is slowly walking around, sad that nobody wanted to dance with her. Right before she was about to leave a boy with a wooden eye walks up and asks her to dance. To which she replies ""Would I! Would I!"" The boy is angered anD snaps back at her. ""Peg Leg! Peg Leg!

A Little Kid Sees a Pirate on the Beach... and walks up to him. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. Intrigued, the kid asks, ""how come you've got that peg for a foot?"" The pirate responds, ""Aye, now that's a story. I was battlin' another ship with me crew, and a cannon ball flew straight toward me. Blew everythin' past me ankle clean off!"" ""Wow, "" the kid says. ""What about your hook for a hand?"" ""Same day as me leg, actually. Shortly after the cannon ball hit, a stray bu…

A man walks into a bar and sees a pirate. A man strolls into his local bar and is shocked to see a pirate sitting at the end of the bar. The guy was decked out, eye patch, peg leg, and a hook hand. A real, proper pirate. So the man says ""why not?"" And pulls up a seat next to the pirate. He buys a round for himself and the pirate and introduces himself. ""**Aye**"" The man is just dying to know the old salt's story so he says to the pirate, ""If you don't mind me asking, what happened to your l…

(Oldie) A city boy goes to visit his grandfather's farm in the country. A he was walking along the fields, he noticed something very odda pig, sitting under a tree, with a peg leg. Later, as he was eating dinner, he asked his grandpa: ""Hey, why does that pig out in the fields have a peg leg?"" ""Oh, Old Jim?"" his father replied. ""Well, that's a very special pig. Saved my life."" ""Oh, really?"" said the son, amazed. ""How?"" ""Well, it was this one night. Your grandmother had gone to bed, and…

A pirates first day It's a pirate's first day on a new ship. While swabbing the deck, he is approached by the captain. The captain is a weathered, veteran sailer and has three of the iconic pirate maladies- a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eyepatch. The new pirate asks the captain how he got the peg leg. ""Arrrr, it were me first day at sea. A great storm came and tossed me overboard. A great fish got me leg, and now I wear the peg"" The new pirate asked the captain how he acquired the hook.…

Seaman and the Pirate A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies, ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about your hook""? ""Well"", replied the pirate, ""We were boardin…

Why was the 'P' irate? Because his peg leg made him go 'R'

A pirate walks into a bar And sits down next to another pirate. He asks him if he'd like a drink and adjusts his eye patch. The second pirate brightens up and says, ""Would I?!"" The first pirate gets up, angry and says ""Screw you, peg leg!""

[NSFWish] A boy was walking along the docks one day and came across a pirate ship... He looked up and admired, in complete amazement, the beauty of the massive ship with all of the details and marks of a real life pirate ship. As if this wasn't enough, the boy then noticed a man sitting by the ship with a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye. He went up to the man and asked, teeming with excitement, ""Excuse me sir, but is this your ship!?"" The old man replied, ""Why yes me boy,…

Wooden Eye Vet A war vet with a wooden eye goes to a dance for injured veterans. He can't find a partner to dance with him. He sees from the opposite side of the dance floor a girl with a prosthetic leg. Seeing that she is also without a dance partner, he makes his move. He approaches her and asks ""Would you dance with me?"" Filled with excitement, she yells ""Would I?!"" ""Fine then, peg leg, get stuffed"".

A kid with no ears and a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate for Halloween.. He knocks on the door and yells, "" 'Rick or 'Rea""! A home owner with a peg leg comes out and says, ""Oh, what are you?"" The kid says, ""I'm a 'irate!"" ""An 'irate?"" the home owner asks. ""Oh a pirate! Well where's your buccaneers?"" The kid points to the sides of his head and says, ""Righ' here! Where's your buckin' leg?""

The pirate and the sailor A sailor walks into a bar and sees a pirate with a peg leg, a hook hand and an eye patch. His curiosity leads him to approach the pirate and ask, ""Why do you have a peg leg?"" ""I was washed overboard and a shark bit me leg off."" the pirate responds. ""Okay,"" says the sailor, ""but what about your hook hand?"" ""Me first mate tried to kill me with his sword but only got me hand instead."" ""Okay,"" says the sailor, ""but what about your eye patch?"" ""I was walking a…

A Pirate's Tale [Note: this joke is an all-time favorite of mine. Like ""The Aristocrats,"" the artistry to telling this joke is in the embellishment and artistry of spinning an engaging tale to setup the punchline. Your mileage may vary--this is the core of the joke.] Down along a small port town along the boat docks, an assortment of sailors, fishermen, and docksworkers were all having a pint or two after work at the local pub. As the burly bunch enjoyed their drinks and spun tales of their ad…

Seaman A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies ""I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off"". ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about the hook""? ""Well..."", replied the pirate, ""We were boarding an enemy ship and were bat…

Two disabled people at a school dance. A man with a fake eye made of wood is at his high school dance. He is the only disabled person other than a woman with a prosthetic leg. They've had a thing for each other for a while now, so he asks her the question. Boy: Would you like to dance? Girl: Oh, Wouldn' I!? Boy: PEG LEG! PEG LEG! PEG LEG!

a pirate walks in to a bar... and he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a missing eye. The bartender asks him how he lost his leg, so the pirate says he lost it fending off a shark. Then the bartender asks how he lost his hand, the pirate said he lost it in a great battle. Then the bartender asks how he lost his eye, the pirate says a seagul pooped in his eye and he wasnt used to the hand yet.

A young sailor is listening to an old pirate tell his stories... ...and notices that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eyepatch. The young man asks the pirate, ""How did you get your peg leg?"" ""Well you see,"" says the pirate, ""I once got so rip, roaring drunk, that I stumbled and fell overboard. The crew scrambled to fish me out, and just as I was being lifted, a shark came and took a huge bite of me leg!"" The young sailor is impressed, and asks the pirate ""Well, how did you get you…

Two college students have a crush. The signs are all there. Sally has been caught gazing at Joe, and Joe is always slurring his words while talking to her. The strange thing about this to-be relationship is that Sally and Joe have something in common. Joe has a fake eye. He lost his when he was a child. Sally has a prosthetic leg. She lost hers last year when she was riding a four-wheeler. Finally, someone throws a party. Sally and Joe are both invited. They both show up the the party and get bu…

Pirate walks into a bar As a bartender was cleaning up for the evening as a pirate walked into his bar. This was the most stereo typical pirate the bartender had ever seen. He had an eye-patch over one eye, a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, a hook for a hand, and spoke with the usual pirate accent. The only thing that set this pirate apart from all the other pirates the bartender had seen was the GIANT wood steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants. The Pirate approached the bar and s…

A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar and sits. He is dressed as a stereotypical pirate, with a hook hand, peg leg, eyepatch, and a parrot on his shoulder. As the bartender prepares his drink, he asks, ""What happened to your hand?"" The pirate replies, ""I was sparring with me crew and one cut off me hand."" Bartender: ""What about your leg?"" Pirate: ""We were boarding an enemy ship and one guy went and cut off me leg."" Bartender: ""And the eyepatch?"" Pirate: ""Well, Polly p…

A pirate at the local bar discusses his past. A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies, ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about your hook""? ""Well"", replied the p…

A private school dance... There are two private middle schools having a school dance together in on of the school's gyms. One is an all girls' school, and the other is an all boys' school. All of the kids are dancing in the middle of the school's gym and having a pretty good time...except for one girl with a peg leg and one boy with a wooden eye. After about a half an hour of standing on opposite sides of the gym, the boy finally musters up the courage to speak to the girl. The boy says to her "…

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. The seaman asks ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about your hook""? ""Well..."", replied the pirate, ""While my men and I were p…

A soldier meets a pirate in a bar and after a few minutes the talk turns to their adventures. The soldier notices that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. ""How did you end up with a peg leg?"" the soldier asks. The pirate replies, ""I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" says the soldier. ""What about your hook?"" ""Well,"" answers the pirate, ""we were boarding a ship when one of the enemies chopped off m…