Peg Leg Jokes

A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, ""Come over here friend. You look like you've had a hard life and I'd like to buy you a drink."" The pirate came over and ordered rum. ""Just out of curiosity,"" the man said, ""how did you lose your leg?"" ""Arrrgh!"" said the pirate, ""I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was throw…

An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew. After some time, one said to the other , ""If you don't mind my saying so, you don't look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck"". ""Yes,"" the other one said, ""I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly ma…

Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says ""No no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again."" So the shop o…

A pirate walks into a bar... Hook hand, peg-leg, eye-patch, the whole nine yards. He's decked out in his best pirate garb and just strolls into this pub. The modern folks in the bar are stunned and amused, but only one brave patron approaches, "Are you really a pirate?" he asks "Aye, lad, that I am. Captain Killigan at yer service." "Wow, so is all this stuff real? The hook and the leg and all?" "Aye, aye, and I'll tell ye the story of 'em all for a drink." Eager to hear his story, the m…

I saw a guy at an ATM with no arms, and a peg leg He asked if I would help him check his balance... so I pushed him over

Sea captain joke A young sailor is walking the docks and spots a sea captain, examining his deck. The sea captain has a peg leg, a hook and an eyepatch. The young sailor, curious, asks the captain "How did you get your peg leg?" The captain replies "Arrr it was a stormy night, and a gust of wind blew me of me boat. In the water a shark bit off me leg." The sailor then asks "How did you get the hook?" To which the captain replies "I was in a fierce sword fight with another bucanneer and the bas…

Pirate joke! So Long John Silver's was looking for a mascot to sell their fish on T.V and they were looking for a pirate. So the first audition walks in and he is the perfect pirate! Peg leg, eye patch and hook for a hand, the perfect pirate look. The interviewer talks to him for a little bit and finally decides to ask how he lost his leg. The pirate says, "I had to walk the plank, and a shark came and took me leg!" Next the interviewer asks about his hook The pirate says, "some scalawag …

Pirate in a Bar A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, "Come over here friend. You look like you've had a hard life and I'd like to buy you a drink." The pirate came over and ordered rum. "Just out of curiosity," the man said, "how did you lose your leg?" "Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that limb to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I wa…

A sailor walks into a bar He orders a drink and notices there's a mean, weather beaten pirate next to him at the bar. The pirate has a hook, a peg leg, and an eye patch. After a few drinks the sailor gets the courage to ask the pirate how he lost his leg. The pirate tells him, "We were in the midst of a raging storm, a wave crashed over the deck and swept me off inter the sea. Before I was rescued, a shark swam up and bit off me leg!" "That's quite the story" the sailor responds. "What abou…

The Pirate A man walks into a bar and finds a pirate seated at the bar. The man takes a seat next to the pirate and notes the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The man strikes up a conversation with the pirate and eventually works up the courage to ask him about his deformities. "I'm terribly sorry if this is too personal, but how did you come to get your peg leg?" The pirate shifted in his seat he looked back at the man and said, "Aye. 'Tis no trouble, lad. Lost me leg from c…

A pirate talks with his captain... 'Captain, how did you get your peg leg?' 'Yarrr... Me ship sank. I was rescued, but not before a great white took me leg.' 'What about your hook hand?' 'Me ship was boarded. I repelled the bastards, but not before I lost me hand.' 'And what about your eye patch?' 'Yarrr... a bird shit in me eye.' 'I don't understand.... How did that cause you to lose an eye???' 'It was me first day with the hook!'

A Pirate walked into a bar A pirate walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. The bartender asked, "Gee you look awful, are you feeling okay?" "I feel fine, why do you ask?," said the pirate. "Well your leg is half missing, you have a wooden peg leg!" "Arrr that happened a few years back, cannonball came right through the ship and took out me leg." The bartender looked down at the pirate's hand, "But your hand, it's a hook! How did that happen?" "Arrr well I was in a sword fight and he …

It was a fine day out on the sea... when a young sailer prepared to set sail on his first voyage. Before he boarded the vessel, he came across an old pirate sitting drunkenly on the docks. "Hey, old-timer," he began, "you look like you've seen your fair share of sea. Could you spare some advise for a young sailer?" "Garr," he conceded. "Well, I can't help but notice that you have a peg leg. Mind if I ask what happened?" "Garr, it were a fine day out on da sea when I fell o'er board and a s…

So I met a Pirate... - Mobile user, please excuse phrasing. So the other day I met a pirate. I mean this guy was the real deal, peg leg, hook for a hand, eye patch, the works. I just had to ask him about it. "Can I ask how you got the peg leg?". "Aye, twas a dark, stormy night. I was at sea, surveying for land, when a giant shark came up out of the briny and took me leg clean off!" "WOW! That's quite a tale!" I said, "and what about you hand?" "Aye," he continued, "I was on the lower deck, …

Two Pirates My mom just sent me this one, thought it was good Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet 
in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, 
a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.” “And yer hand?” asks Marty. “When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.” “OK, but what’s with the eye patch?” “I was standin’ on …

A pirate captain was telling his first mate how he got his injuries First he points to his peg leg. "You see," he says, "I got thrown overboard in a terrible storm an' a great white shark bit off me leg before I could climb back up." "That's amazing," the first mate replies, "and what happened to your hand?" "We was boarding a ship to take its plunder an' I dueled the ship's captain. I bested him but not before he took me hand clean off. So I got a hook to replace it." The first mate was …

I have never seen my all time favorite joke here, so I will submit relatively original content, enjoy! There was a newspaper in a very small Midwestern farming town, comes out once a week with local news like the new library books, or the preachers sermon, and school fundraisers. One day the editor calls the reporter in and says, "I don't know what to do about the next issue. There isn't a damn thing happening! No church bazaars, no school activities, and Sheriff hasn't arrested anyone in 3 we…

A Pirate Joke that doesn't end with "ARRRR." A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?" "Well it were many a year ago," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard, and a shark swum up and bit me leg clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a peg leg that …

Two pirates, Morty and sol are at a bar Sol has a patch over one eye, 
a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.” “And yer hand?” asks Marty. “When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.” “OK, but what’s with the eye patch?” “I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.” …

A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate with a peg leg, hook hand, eyepatch, and a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The bartender asks how he got the peg leg. "Well", says the pirate, "I fell into the sea and had to fight off a shark, but he ate me leg." "What about the hook hand?" Pirate: "Me vessel got boarded by some scallywags and I lost me hand in the fight." "Well, how about the eyepatch?" "Ol' Polly here pooped in me eye!" The bartender was confused and asked how that could …

A pirate captain walks into a bar... ...with a peg leg, a steering wheel hanging from his pants, and a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender: "Excuse me Captain, but you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants!" Pirate: "Arrrrr, I know. It's driving me nuts."

A pirate with a peg leg, a hook hand and an eyepatch walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, "If you don't mind my asking, how'd you get that peg leg?" The pirate answers, "Well, matey, I was knocked overboard during a terrible storm. I spent several hours clinging to a piece of flotsam before me ship found me, but not before a shark took me leg." The bartender nods and asks, "What about the hook hand?" The pirate answers, "A few months after I lost me leg, we were boarded by some Royal…

Once there was a young man with a wooden eye. Now, he's very self conscious of his eye. Every year, the annual village dance comes around, and every year, he stands off to the side, feeling sorry for himself. This year was no different. As he's standing there, all melancholy, he spots a young lady with a wooden leg. She too is standing aside and looking sad. The young man thinks, "Now, I know I'm no prince charming, but I bet if I ask that lady for a dance, she'll say yes." So he works up hi…

Once I met a pirate with a peg leg

A pirate walks into a bar..... with a peg leg